A down day

Woke up this morning and instantly knew this was going to be a hard day. The weather is affecting me quite a bit (neither I nor my loved one liked this torrid weather) and then I felt this awful pain in my stomach.

I am doing some work but it is heavy-going.

My partner’s ashes are now with me in a beautiful teardrop-shaped urn. The sit where he slept together with an A4 size picture of him. I do not know if he listens but I find comfort in talking to his picture and stroking the urn.

Yes, this is definitely one of the harder days since he passed.


Sorry you are having a down day. Can relate to the weather being all over the place. Hope you feel better as and when. Never seen a teardrop urn had a quick look they look quite special different to a normal one, Much love :heart: to you on this difficult day.

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Hi Mark,

I wanted something that looked nothing like your typical urn. I wanted a new home for my beloved that celebrates how special he was and still is to me. I have attached a couple of photos. I hope I did him proud.

Thank you very much for your kind wishes.



My hubby passed 17 months ago.

Our daughter had a “reading” and was asked if mum spoke to dad as he is listening.
I speak out loud to him every day, and ask him to watch over us.

The down days do get fewer - -
“Little by little we let go of our loss, but never of our love”

G. X


Hi @SSTC22
The urn is very beautiful and I talk to my husband’s photo every night when I go to bed too. Usually tell him about my day, and I’ve ask him to wait for me and be the first person I see when it’s my time. I’m sure he is listening.
It been 16 months for me and I still get down days, but not as often.

@MarkC is right this heat is not helping, really struggling with work and my mind is all over the place.

@Grandma, I often ask him his advice and what would he do, I often surprised when a solution appears, so he really is listening.

Debbie X


I’ve just watched the sun come up. It’s their smiles. Looking at everyone. It’s so bright & beautiful xxx

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Hi Debbie, I do the same, chatting to Penny every evening, telling her about my day. If I have an issue, I don’t know how to resolve I ask her to help, and by morning all is clear about what I should do! Her ashes are in a cardboard container just by my seat and I just rest my hand on it when I talk to her.
I’m glad to say that after 14 weeks, my grieving has come to an end and my life is coming together very well. I still get sad and teary from time time, but I’m relatively happy again.


I’m afraid it is going to take me longer than 14 weeks to get over this.

I have spent a very quiet Saturday, trying to rest in this awfully hot weather. I thought I was doing ok, watching Midsomer Murders (which, along with Brokenwood Mysteries, I find oddly comforting these days).

I nodded off to wake up feeling utterly miserable and missing him like mad.

I am not sure how long I can keep feeling like this, randomly switching from feeling like I am managing to feeling utter desperation.

Issues with the probate don’t help and trying to make a living on my own is not easy.

Sorry for the rant. I feel so drained.

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@SSTC22, I’m afraid I didn’t get over it by 14 weeks either, 16 months on I still miss him so much, there has been tears today.
I’ve had midsummer murders on all day too while staying out the sun, it’s easy watching not much thinking required.
I think it’s part weather but mainly grief that makes us feel drained.
Debbie X

Thanks for the empathy, Debbie.

I’m glad I’m not alone in how I feel.

Hope we both get some decent sleep.

Sonia xx

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Each of us has to find our own way of dealing with what’s been thrown at us.
Still have down- ish days 17 months on but I try to keep busy to distract myself.

I don’t like the words “grieving or mourning” - I imagine that I should be dressed all in black with a veil!
Crazy or what.?

Do what feels right for yourself.

G. X

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