I lost my husband almost 9 months ago and like everyone on here have felt desolate and sometimes desperate that nobody understood how I felt. Today was my first birthday without my husband and I was dreading it - I just wanted to know he was still around me. I’d got through Christmas without him, his birthday without him, returned to our holiday home without him, had numerous problems with the car and maintenance problems with our home without him and just couldnt bear the thought this was going to be my life going forwards. I dont know whats happened today but it feels as though the light bulbs have been switched on again. I went out for a meal with his family and the food was terrible but you know what, it didn’t matter. I’ve been surrounded by TRUE friends at our holiday home and his family who have gone out their way to make it the best birthday for many a year. I feel contented because I know my husband is still with me and worked his magic.
My mum died 7 years ago in a hospice and at a memorial service we were invited to take a simple pebble from a tray which represented the path of life. I always kept that pebble in my purse as I had a deep belief that mum would always ensure that I would always have enough money to survive. Last year, on her birthday, I went to buy some vegetables on a local market and didn’t realise that I’d dropped the pebble when I’d paid for my vegetables. The lady from the stall came running after me and gave it back to me. I can’t explain to this day what made her come after me to bring this simple pebble that most people would think as worthless. I like to think my mum knew what was going to happen with my husband and she wanted me to know she was still around. My husband has shown me this today so all those suffering from the loss or a loved one, keep the faith.