I’ve just been thinking and analysing, like I do and I’m struck by how grief is the same in general. I guess how we deal with each bit is an individual thing but there is a common element to it. Things I’ve noticed,
We all want to die
We all feel anger, pain and confusion
We all have sleepless nights
We all wonder how we will get through it
We all feel anger and ask why
We all feel robbed and that they were robbed
We all feel it’s unfair that they didn’t get to live their in life
We all feel resentment of other couples happiness
We wonder why others get to live and our partners don’t
We want to die, put it twice as it’s quite a strong feeling we have.
We feel, resentment, fear, loss of security, feel robbed of our future,
So much more, too much to list!
We all feel the same from reading people’s posts . So why is loss so individual and unique to each person when we feel the same?
Just a comment for the day, as someone said this to me yesterday and it meant a lot.
"Loving you changed my life, It should come as no surprise that losing you has done the same. "
Yep been through these feelings . 9 weeks on weds since my dad passed. Been through all emotions. Latest one been annoyed and angry that hes left me.
8 weeks yesterday losing my partner. An ever swirling tornado of feelings! At 49 it was unjust and so sudden, no warning! Life is so cruel!
Realise I should have put this in the partner group ! Sorry
Ali29
I only lost my partner 3 weeks ago but already relate to most on your list with the exception of wanting to die, having lost my parents I am familiar with the grief stages so understand with time and healing, life will be worth living again. We are still here for a reason as it is not yet our time to go. Grief and it’s individuality I believe is down to our own personal connections/bonds to our loved one’s who have passed. Grief stages are related to the actual death and trauma. It’s all a very confusing time for everyone and how we react and process it all is unique to ourselves just like our personalities. Whatever I have to go through, one thing I do feel is gratitude for knowing him 54 years and gratitude for my life that continues on
Hi Sarlyn
I couldn’t agree more. We are all have different personalities and therefore methods of coping with the trauma of grieving. However I have always thought of life as a precious gift and no matter what life throws at us we have to learn to cope with it.
xx
Pattidot
I agree, life is a precious gift and as we are the one’s still here, I believe we are destined to guard, nurture and spread that legacy of love that we were gifted through our lost loved one’s. Although lost is the wrong word because love never dies, only the physical body, which is the shell that houses the heart, soul and spirit. We are the strength that carries their love forward in life and we were chosen to do that. I always believe the one’s left behind to shoulder all the grief, pain and heartbreak were the right one’s to do so. A look into our relationship will tell us that. Life is a continuity of love and we are the one’s chosen to heal the scars of death and trauma
7 weeks today💔
I am not suicidal and do not want to self harm.
But I do want to die. To be reunited with my darling husband.
People keep telling me you are strong / early days / give it time - but it makes non difference. I am not strong / it feels like an eternity / I don’t want time.
I don’t want to grow old. I want to be with my husband 
I know exactly what you mean. But here I am, thirteen months on still putting one foot in front of the other. I don’t know how I’ve got here but I have. I’m still totally bereft and miss my husband with every fibre of my body. I find every day living so hard without him and I am so lonely. I wish I could take away your pain but I can’t but do hope you start to find something that will help you move forward with your life. Sending love and hugs your way.x
My dear Angelalouisa, how I feel for you. I can remember those early weeks and months after the loss of my husband and it is truly a terrible time to get through. I daresay most of us have felt like you in those early days, we are lost souls and very confused. To be with our loved ones would make us feel safe again and take us away from this terrible time. I will not say time is a healer but it does make things a bit clearer to us and we do learn to cope.
xx
8 wks for me and I feel the same. I’ve lost all security and hope . I grief my loss of Rich and the wonderful life we had planned and now I feel bereft of everything and it hurts so bad. Ester break we would have gone away as we were both in education. Now I dread the holidays as it’s a reminder of a lost life with my man!
I lost my soul mate of 40+ years in October.
I dont believe we all feel the same but we do share a lot of common feelings.
I don’t want to die…he loved life and he lived a colourful life. It’s hard to carry on alone but I will do it.
I dont feel angry only sadness
I don’t resent other couples. I tell them to appreciate all they have as it can be taken away in the blink of an eye
I do have sleepless nights
I do cry everyday
I am sad everyday
I miss him everyday
I get up everyday and carry on with with work and everyday life
This weird thing GRIEF is not the same for all but it is cruel and until you have experienced it you can explain the heartbreak you feel to anyone.
@Sarlyn I am very much like you in that I feel gratitude for the time we had together and the need to carry his love forwards and agree also with @Pattidot that life is precious and we all have different ways of coping with our grief depending on our personalities. Thank you both for your wise words.
My list is very similar to yours @JackieJ apart from the fact that there are some days I don’t cry which is when the guilt begins to rear its ugly head.
I recognise that the list of feelings are all a normal part of grief but as it has no pattern we are not destined to feel all of them.
Love
Karen xxx