Hello Everyone,
My dear husband of 42 years died on 20th April 2026 in the care of a Sue Ryder hospice. I suppose I am reaching out because I know everyone on this site will understand my roller coaster of emotions. The funeral service was just two days ago - it was beautiful and so well attended but now for me there is just HUGE emptiness and a feeling of whatever will happen next? I have a wonderful family - 2 sons and 5 grandchildren but the overwhelming sadness I now feel is hard to talk about with them because I know they’ve lost their anchor too! Hoping that someone will have a wise word to share - I know I’m on a long journey but I am usually such a positive person …..
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Dear Chris
Welcome to this wonderful group, a group none of us wanted to join. I am so sorry you too have lost your husband.
I lost my husband suddenly 10 months ago now and this group has kept me sane. What I did when I first joined was read through old posts of things that were worrying me. There are some very wise people here with good advice they share.
Thinking of the future is hard, impossible really so for now I would just do what you have too. Drink, eat and sleep are the most important things for now.
We all find this difficult but please ask for help if you need it. Talking really does help.
Post here, there will always be someone along with a wise word or just an ear. We’ve all had bad days, so rant, ask advice or just chat, your amongst friends x
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Hi Chris, l’m Lilly, l’m on your journey but l’m much further on than you are. although you may not feel it yet there is light at the end of the tunnel, you will be able to smile and laugh again at memories from your past with your husband without breaking down constantly, l know because l’ve been there. If you can you should plan to do a positive task each day, it just helps if you have some structure to your life. Sending hugs to you. Lilly x
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Hi, so sorry for your loss. I can relate to how you feel. I lost my partner just over seven months ago, together for almost 40 years. You are probably still in a state of shock your grief is so recent. It’s good that you have family support as being alone makes everything harder for most people. Your sons and grandkids are grieving too but you are the one who has lost her soulmate and life partner. Grief is something that has to be worked through and putting on a brave face for family will not help you. Everyone on this site understands the loss of someone close, the loneliness, devastation and loss of identity that it brings. You can be lonely in a room full of people. Some people find comfort in counselling or bereavement groups, They are options to look at later. Keep on posting here, it helps to know that your feelings are normal.
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So sorry for your loss @Chris03.
I lost my wife of 50 years in October 2024 so, I’m a little further down the grief path than you. It’s early days for you so, at this stage, I would suggest keeping a grief journal to get some of the thoughts out of your head and into print. Also, try watching this video by Sarah Bell. There are other grief videos on YouTube. You just have to keep looking until you find one or more that resonate with you.
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Hi Chris, I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. My wife died just over four months ago after a long battle with cancer so I was prepared for her death yet I found it devastating all the same. The only thing that helped me in the first months was getting out into nature and walking for long distances on my own. I think the physical exercise helps with sleep and is good for the mind reducing cortisol which is triggered by anxiety. This site has been a blessing for me as there are so many lovely people who understand how painful a bereavement is. I hope you find some solace here and make sure you look after yourself eating drinking etc.
Wishing you all the best
Tom
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Hi Chris
So sorry for your loss, and you have joined us on this rollercoaster ride of grief. I lost my husband suddenly cardiac arrest 7 and half months ago. The few months are a bit of a blur . At the moment it’s important you eat and drink like Helen has said. Take it slowly day by day or even hour by hour . I found this site to be a lifeline . Everybody understands, there is always someone on here to give words of advice just listen are just chat . Look after yourself.
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Thank you for that Wilson9 the video was helpful to listen to as I am very much at the beginning of my journey.
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Hi @Chris03.
I thought this might be of some comfort to you.
Death ends a life, it stops a heartbeat, it silences a voice, but it does not erase the bond built between two souls who chose each other. That love, if nurtured, becomes a quiet source of strength, a reminder of what was real and a reason to keep going. And maybe that’s the greatest legacy anyone can leave behind. A love so true that not even death can fully take it away. A relationship that continues quietly, powerfully, beautifully long after the last goodbye.
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Thank you for your eloquent posts that touch the heart and soul and enquire the mind. Love endures
Thank you Wilson9 those words are beautiful 
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A friend just posted this on facebook and I think it’s beautiful- I’m sure many of you will have read it before but I hadn’t and it made me smile this sunny morning 
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That’s is lovely thank you for sharing
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Hello, yes its lovely thank you
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