@Sarlyn It’s 9 months for me. I decided I would book some things to look forward to. I have booked a family trip for April and I am going to America with my son and daughter in law, who is American, for the first time in August. (We were meant to go in 2020 with my husband) I feel so sad that my husband won’t be with me but I know he would be telling me to get on with things. As well as my family these trips are something I can focus on over the next few months.
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Yes it’s going to be a long road . But it’s one we have to travel . Al the best injoy the US x
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Thank you and yes unfortunately we do x
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Nearly 6 months for me.
Keeping busy and being with friends and family helps me gets through the bad times.
Tablets also helped me get through the very worst of it.
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Hi @Broken2222 I lost my husband just over 2 years ago and am still really struggling. There is no time line on recovery with grief so you don’t need to try harder unless you want to. I feel worse now than I did just after it happened but think my friends think I’m ok which is hard. Every day is hard, I’m hoping eventually it will get easier but in the meantime I’m jsut going to do the best I can and I think you should do.
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2 years for me too and still struggling. the tought of H#holidays are hard especially when others are talking about their holiday plans. Going away alone is a scary prospect but I don;t want my kids to feel they have to go with me. I too have just booked a holiday for late this year but, like you, it is an organised one as I felt that was a good way to dip my toe in the water of holidaying alone.
@clarejce , thank you so much for your kind words , yes it’s so hard, trying to live a life without that one special person . I think the first year I was so numb , then the second it felt so final ,even though I still didn’t want to believe this is it now for me . Now I just know I have to try and live this life , but I know I will grieve for my husband forever, i dont even know what the saying move on means . Maybe if I figure that out , I might manage to live this life , without keep feeling , I am failing myself as well as my husband . Xtake carex
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Hi @clarejce,
The 6th of January marked two years since my gorgeous wife Christine died. For me the second year has been far far worse than the first when I think I was just in shock and numb. It was in the second year that this faded and the nightmare reality was revealed.
I agree with what you say: There is no universal time line for grief and every day is hard. It’s just a matter of degree. Maybe it gets easier as it becomes so familiar and you increasingly adapt to it. You just do the best you can at the time.
Well done in booking yourself a holiday.
Best wishes.
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Me too . Have to start somewhere on this new normal . At some point we will have to move on as hard as that is !! Best wishes x
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Yes me too . Sorry to use the term i glad its not just me . Im fed up reading stuff from the profs saying people generally start to feel better after the second year . A load of tosh . I say walk a mile in my shoes and ask me the same question!!! X
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Yes I was the same, the first year was ok, I was definitely emotionally numb most of the time and then this year has just got worse . I now have no expectations for year 3, just gonna try and roll with the punches. I’m just hoping I can get to a point were I don’t still regularly think , shit is this real, did this actually happen.
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I don’t think any of us will move on. I think that’s such an unhelfpul phrase. Hopefully we will learn how to live with our new normal and be able to look forward to the future instead of avoiding thinking about it. I don’t know about others here but a lot of my friends are just retiring or retired and that is a lot of what they talk about, their plans and trips etc. It’s hard. My kids are both working now, youngest just moved to Bristol and you want them to live their lives to the full but you now have to face the empty nest alone.
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Well l am only speaking from personale experience !! . But my wife who i absolutely worshipped would be horrified to know i was just sobbing into my shandy and not getting on with what life i had left as she was that sort of lady and yes she was definitely a lady . So in a way its my way of honoring her memory she will always be at my side no mistake about that she is the first thing i think of in the morning and the last thing i think of at night !!!
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@jerryH. @Jeff007 @clarejce your words are so helpful, they make me feel " normal" sometimes I think I’m some sort of freak because after 2 years , I still feel so desperately heartbroken and I’m sure some people think I should be " over it" by now, it’s not like I just sit and mourn ,or tell others all the time how I feel , I do have a laugh sometimes ,but I just find living without my husband so so hard. Thank you all xtake carex
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Well im pleased is all i can say to you !! . And wish you a bright future as your loved one will always be at your side is the way i like to look at it
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