I’m sure plenty of people on here will understand this.
I’ve spent the last 10 weeks since my husbands death feeling heavy with grief and sadness. Not to say I haven’t laughed too at times or found things to enjoy, but that weight of sadness is ever present. So much so, that I find I can’t be bothered to react to the numerous frustrations and stresses of sorting all the admin out (SKY TV shame on you 
) .
This morning I had a message from the new internet provider to say they had cancelled my order for the third time. I was, to say the very least, extremely angry - I’m now 8 weeks with no proper internet.
Anyway, after I’d calmed down, I realised that it was the first time since simon’s death that I had actually been able to feel angry. In an odd way, I felt it was perhaps a positive sign to feel a ‘normal’ emotion? Does this resonate with anyone?
Sorry for your loss
I did find that the first few weeks after funeral I was operating on autopilot like a robot doing what had to be done.
I think most people and it’s a coping mechanism.
It is a positive thing to start feeling emotions - you can’t deal with grief in that state of mind.
Unfortunately it gets more difficult once you start having to deal with the emotions, but it’s a necessary rite of passage on this journey
Resonates completely with me. Very similar length of time since I lost my Neil. Feeling heavy with grief, not being able to rouse myself to be bothered with the aggravations of dealing with the sadmin. Made so much worse by incompetent or careless organisations that supposedly have specialist bereavement teams but still mess it up and say the most insensitive things. For me those aggravations include the burden of also trying to wrap my Mother’s estate since she died only a year ago. My sister and I were executors and now my sister has died too which throws up the most awful probate complications. So I am indeed angry! But it is marginally better than just numb and immobilised. My resolution to self is just try to deal with one aggravation at a time. Don’t attempt to sort the house insurance on the same day as making a formal complaint to Barclays Bank or repaying the Attendance Allowance the DWP messed up or getting the Council to give me a single persons discount.
Heavens! You’ve had an incredibly tough time of it. I can’t begin to imagine the quagmire of admin and sorting you’ve got to plough through!! Youll deserve a little holiday at the end of it all.
I wish you the very best of luck with it all. You’re completely right though - bereavement teams are all too often a complete joke!!
It was only January when i lost my husband, so im still dealing with all the paperwork etc. I do try to limit myself to a couple of ‘problems’ at a time. He always used to get angry on the phone when companies were particularly useless. I found its rubbed off, and im sounding just like him!