A nuisance?

My grandson rang today "(first time since the funeral)when I cried on the phone he more or less told me to pull myself together.

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Men don’t get we can’t deal with greif on our own reach out to me or cruise bereavement care

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Is your grandson young, no excuse I know but young people find it hard to deal with emotions.
It’s almost eighteen months for me and my grandchildren are in their teens, they all miss their grandad but don’t show emotions in the same way and find it hard to deal with family tears.
Sending a hug.
Debbie x

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He’s in his thirties. He and his wife had it in their gift to take me to see my wife in hospital but didn’t. Hug received and very much appreciated.

Nigel xx

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Thank you Roses.
xx

Hi , sorry you feel like this . No one understands how bad and upset we are , losing the one person that means the world to us and was our life . Only us that have lost our partners . Thinking of you . Xtake carex

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I sorry Nigel your so upset, he’s at an age that should be more sensitive to your emotions and needs.
Hopefully he will think about his reactions and be more sympathetic to you.
Love Debbie X

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Well, I’m not leaving him the farm!

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Too right, Nigel! He should be a lot more sympathetic. Mind you, it is a funny generation and one that is less caring. There are of course exceptions.

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I think we are all having the same experience, whether it’s a friend or family, whichever age they are, like we’ve all said here, also on other threads, if you haven’t been through it, you simply don’t ‘get it’. I also get irritated at their nonsensical responses, people sometimes disappearing suddenly, avoiding us, as if we have a contagious disease, worse than Covid! I’ve had peculiar excuses like: “I would love to come and visit you, but first there was the pandemic, then I thought you probably just wanted to be on your own, being the reserved type!”, or a cousin living in the UK, where I used to live, meaning to give me a call, have never heard from her!

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So sad, I think people don’t understand as they not been through the pain u r going through. X

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Hi Nigel,
I am so sorry your Grandson isn’t able to support you in your grief. Some people are simply unable or unwilling to understand.
Please know your tears are part of your healing process. Don’t let anyone make you feel less because of the way you grieve.
I personally find crying cathartic. It helps ease the awful crushing pain I feel in my chest.
Keep writing and reading on this site, it can help validate your feelings and perhaps help you feel less alone.
Sending a comforting hug your way.
Please take care x

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I am so sorry. Sometimes people, even family, can’t cope with it or putting walls up to protect themselves etc…but sometimes they are just asshats.

Beki x

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@Nigel2 how sad that your grandson is old enough to know better and couldn’t find empathy and be sensitive at a time when you needed it. Sending you a hug. x

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I’ve been blessed by many people who have been nothing short of amazing at suppporting me, often just listening to me. But there are many who haven’t, and have really disappointed me.
I refused to get any negative feelings about them, preferring to believe that people can’t give you something they don’t have, in this case, empathy. Some people have it, some don’t.
Just because people might hit us over the head with a stick, there’s absolutely no reason why we should get hold of the stick and hit ourselves over the head with it as well. That makes us as hurtful as them!

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Big hugs xx I’m totally numb since my dad passed away suddenly 19 days ago and I think I’m still in shock so can appear harsh to onlookers that I’m not grieving In the way they are , visibly shedding tears. Let your feelings out xx

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