Hi
I want to say whatever you are going through at the moment, you are not alone in your grief. Some of us might be a little further down the road of loss then others or new people to these forums.
I remember when I was invited to light a candle for my mum back in November 23 by the funeral people. I went alone and they stood in the foyer, I approached them and said I’m alone. The guy who had lead the funeral procession at my mum’s funeral was there and he said no you are not, we are here with you. I never forgot those words and on that night those words meant the world to me. So I want to say this, you might feel alone in your grief at the moment but we are here with you. We here to help and support.
Don’t worry if it takes you a lifetime to adjust, you not alone and never will be. Keep going no matter how tough times are and give yourself plenty of time to adjust, mourne, deal with life, deal with isolation, deal with loss. Take your time and be kind to yourself, baby steps to begin with leading to eventually bigger steps.