Yes it’s a change to read uplifting words
I’m going to cherish the thought that our love
grows and dulls the rawness of grief I need some positive thoughts in the midst of all this negativity
Christine x
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I wish you days of comfort ahead and a light at the end of this difficult tunnel
Thanks
I wish the same for yourself aswell
Take care
Christine x
Thank you for your lovely comments and generosity - I really do hope my words helped a little. The loss of the person who loves us most and who we love best is one of the hardest things we will ever have to face.
Gary and I laughed our way through our lives together - and those awful jokes when I threatened to leave him beside the road now make me smile. My car journeys are not the same and music still makes me cry - but both my children have inherited his wicked sense of humour and now we can laugh together and say what ‘Dad would say’ . He is still here in our hearts and minds and always will be.
Take care all xxx
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Trisha what beautiful words you have spoken here of your feelings for your love if your life.
I miss my husband dearly after 8 months and really cannot think how I am going to handle the rest of my days without him.
He was always such a positive person and would hate to see me sitting around not dressed but some days I dont have the energy .
I take great comfort in reading your story and hope I can move on even though I hate the words move on
Dear Maureen
I’m very sorry to hear about the loss of your husband
I can relate to everything you say
My husband died 9 months ago and I miss him so very much .Like yourself I can’t imagine getting through the rest of my life on my own I can’t turn the clock back and share my life with him again and that’s all I want
I don’t think you can ever get over the loss of your husband you have to try and live with the loss
We have our love and memories but it is very hard and very lonely
Thinking of you. Take care
Christine x
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Thankyou Christine for your kind message.
I lost my mum to COVID 3 weeks after losing my husband back in April so it’s been very tough what with lockdown etc.
I do not know what to do some days I dont know how to get through my days. I wake up saying oh God and I go to bed saying oh God.
We were together from our youth and married 47 years, we did everything together so I now have a part of me missing.
I feel my husband was cheated with only having 4 years retirement after we both worked hard all our life and never squandered money.
We had so many dreams of things and places to visit.
If it’s one thing its taught me you you have to make sure to make each day count while you’re together and theres more to life than just work.
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Dear Maureen
So sorry to hear that you lost both your husband and mum to covid and in such a short space of time Combined with the lockdown that must have been absolutely horrendous
I was married for 43 years and like yourself always
worked and saved My husband was made redundant at 62 I worked on for another year then took early retirement (he was 6 years older than me )We had only 3 years then he became unwell with cancer then with copd He battled on for 4 years only to catch covid and die within 48hours
I agree you have to live for the day I wish I could turn the clock back and relive it all again doing some things differently You do let other things like work get in the way My husband was a workaholic We also had dreams and plans for the future but they never happened Life doesn’t always work out how you imagine that’s for sure The loneliness is very hard and all the restrictions make it so much worse We just have to keep going for their sakes in this awful life we never wanted
Sorry if I’ve made you feel worse as there’s not much to be positive about but I do understand how you feel
thinking of you
Christine x
Dear Maureen and Christine
I was reading your messages and you mentioned loneliness - I think this remains always with you
I list Jack 27 months ago and I still find that I am very often alone and lonely
In a way I find the lockdown helpful -
I find I have to work very hard to keep with a positive attitude and of course not always successful
One of my new year’s resolutions is not complain - I found out that I was complaining too much about my life, how alone I was , how grief was so exhausting etc etc and when I have to complain I talk to my 2 cats
Have a good evening - it is ever so cold and foggy
Sadie x
Dear Sadie
Thanks for your kind message
You sound determined to make an effort to be positive As you say It is very hard in the current situation I try but it is difficult hopefully I’ll get there one day
Take care
Christine x
Thanks Trisha for your positive post, giving hope to all .
It’s almost two years for me, two years without his love, his support , hugs and laughter! It’s so difficult isn’t it ?
I try to look forward and support my boys and their young children as I know Paul would want me to . It’s so much easier to look back and remember our happy times . 40 happy years, not always easy but very happy! I am so
great full for the life and love we shared.
Love and hugs to everyone who is on this unwanted journey.
Take care Ang xx
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And for me you have. With a wonderful, detailed explanation. Thank you from the bottom of my heart xxx
So very sorry, to loose your Mom and Your Husband must be the hardest thing to bear.
Thank you for your post, i so get your words about your love for each other.Our too was a very special bond, i am almost 4 months into my journey,have returned to work as i find it helps being around people.My best friend lost her hubby almost 9 years ago and is a wonderful listener,she totally understands each and every emotion we have on this lonely ride.
Sending love & hugs
Dinky xxx
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Thank you for your post. I’m only 4 days in from losing my husband and I’m frightened of everything. How will I cope without him. Feeling overwhelmed with grief when you realise you will never hold his hand again. He told me not to mourn him and get on with life and I know it’s early days for me but it so unbearable at times.
I was thinking of using a grief journal and you mentioned you had, it must help writing down your feeling.
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Dear Wendy
I am sending you a hug - it is all so raw and so sad
Some people find a grief journal helps
All I can say is that you do what you want when you want it
Lots of love
Sadie
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Thank you for the hug. I can see that we all have to get through this together . I’m so glad I joined this forum
Wendy - in my his forum there is always someone that feels what you feel, people will listen and understand and you can say whatever you want
Sadie x
Dear Wendy
I have been writing to Gary since I first lost him - not so frequently now - but in fact I have literally just put my pen down a few moments ago. I look back at my tear stained scribbles at the start of my first journal and most of those early messages are hard to read. But in my journal I write as if I am talking to him - and now I add memories to the pages too as if we were reminiscing together. Today as well as writing about one of our holidays together I told him I thought I could feel his hand in mine last night. It will be his birthday on Tuesday and I will do what I did last year -I wrote him a card, sealed it and put it in ‘his drawer’ where all his bits still reside - spare glasses, swiss army knife, a stone our daughter gave him on the beach when she was small- odds and ends that make a man drawer. I would say like Sadie- do whatever you can that may help. Take the signs that he is still with you and cherish them. It was my birthday on Friday and I got my message from him when I walked into the kitchen and Alexa was playing Eric Clapton’s ‘You look wonderful tonight’ - a song that he used to sing to me (he was a musician). I just wished he was there to dance me round the room. So of course the tears flowed - but I took that message and memory and held them close. It still hurts he is not here - I believe it always will. But all those things I need him to know I write it down. Take care and talk to people on here. I have made some very good friends and this forum really got me through the early days.
xx
That lovely that you write as of talking to him. I think I need as much help as I can get to get through this . I talked to him today when making a drink , in the kitchen where he died. I joked that he had to go out with a bang, it wasn’t a good death. I think talking to him will help . Good for my dogs to hear my voice as all they hear is crying. Mine was a Garry , Garry with two r’s we used to say. Thank you for your reply. Wendy