im 71 and my garden has become a wildlife friendly jungle, so too hard for me now. ive got a small garden at the front, which im in process of clearing pots and weeding, cant do much at a time as cant bend. i like a garden to sit and relax in, maybe one day ill get it done.
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We understand.
The down days are truly dreadful.
It does feel like going backwards wards doesn’t it?
I hope being with your daughter helps.
You are doing the right thing by sharing with us.
Thinking of you xx
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It is only when you are on this very difficult grief journey you realise how important it is for people to keep in touch. We have probably all been guilty of thinking funeral = closure at sometime but now we know better. As a result we will be much better ‘friends’ to people in the future. Sending love to you all x
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Hi @RoseGarden , @LyndaK and @ronnie4
Thankyou for all your support today
I do feel a lot calmer and even a bit more positive now.
My daughter and son-in- law took me in the garden and showed me that with their help and a bit of redesigning, that it is not an insurmountable problem. That’s been part of the problem, I didn’t want to become a burden and keep asking for help.
We’ve always been pretty independent but now I realise that I do need help and I have to ask. They also made me see that I really to have to start to pick myself up and begin this new life I’ve been dumped with. Roger wouldnt want me sitting around in a state like I’ve been today. He’d want me to start again, my new, if unwanted, life.
I know its not going to be easy and I will still have plenty of down days but I realise for everyone’s sake I’ve got to try.
Thank you all for caring
Take care
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So glad you feel calmer.
It sounds like your garden will be more manageable with help from your family.
So that is one less thing to worry about.
Your family obviously want to help you which is good.
Things definitely look more positive.
We are also still here for you.
Hope you get a good night,’s sleep. Xx
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@RoseGarden
Thankyou. I do feel more positive now.
I just hope this feeling lasts and when I wake up I feel ready to face the day.
I know I am lucky in having a supportive family and friends, when so many others on here have no one, or very little support
I will hopefully sleep tonight
I think I’m ready to try to start my new life, but I know feelings are fragile and that could change in an instant. The grief journey is not straightforward and certainly not easy.
Goodnight
Hope you sleep well
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So pleased to read that things are a little better. It is difficult asking for help but when we do , help is always there. What I have realised is how many times I used to say ‘ Bob can you just ………’ and of course he was always there to do it.
It is very hard trying to get on with life on your own but like you my husband didn’t want me sitting around, he wanted me to continue with my life which is a lot easier said than done but I try.
I hope today is a better day for you and you can start to think about the changes you can make in your garden.
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Yes, I used to turn to my husband and ask him to do things.
It was second nature to do that.
I now truly realise how much I relied on him.
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Good morning everyone
I’m not sure how positive I feel this morning but so far minimal tears. I don’t like thunderstorms so that was a bit tough last night, he wasn’t there to hold me. But I got through it and I was okish.
I used to say that Roger thought I was made of glass, there were so many things he wouldn’t let me do, digging, decorating, carrying shopping, moving furniture etc. But I didnt mind, he was always there for me, I didnt need to worry about things, they got done. Now I’m going to have to do things myself, and guess what, I can, well some of it anyway.
My mind is much more settled about the garden, and yes I’ve just got to learn ask for help when I need it, which is going to be quite a lot, for a while at least.
I do so hope this positive mood lasts, but I know grief can do awful things to your brain so I must learn to go with it and accept the bad days and hope for more good ones. Or at least reasonable ones.
Thankyou all for your support
Take care
Big hugs to you all
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Me too. You just take it for granted and then when they are not here you realise how much they did.
Take care and take each hour as it comes and tick off the positive ones
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