A year on since losing my dad to alzheiemers

Coping with bereavement
1

Hi to all. It’s been over a year since I lost my dad. I still feel stuck in this place of not accepting he has gone. I just can’t believe how quickly the year has passed. Today I felt so overwhelmed. I keep going over in my head what happened to him and the treatment he received. Watching him have no food or fluids just don’t seem right to me. Watching him slowly deteriorate has played a big impact on my mind. I knew he was ill but such a quick decline in such a short space of time. Before he was placed in a home he was doing OK. I wish I done some thing to help so he would of never had to go into a home. He was only 68 and diagnosed at the age of 54. It’s such a cruel disease.
Take care all x

2

Hi Joey,

This is so awful for you to go through especially at your father’s young age.
I lost my 69 year old partner suddenly and unexpectedly, in less than 4 hours from him leaving home. Like you I find it impossible to accept that he has gone.

All I can think of is " if only " " perhaps we could have " " should have" "maybe

Would counselling would help you ? I don’t know , I’m trying it and talking to somebody and being able to say what I think and what bothers me helps a little bit. I can’t talk to my family and friends, they are all upset or don’t want to talk.

I’m sure you did what you thought best for your father at the time, it is a very cruel disease

I hope you find somebody to help you come to terms with what has happened .

Take care J x.

3

Dear Joey
So sorry to hear you had such a traumatic time losing your Dad. I do understand it is so helpless standing on the side lines watching your lovely Dad suffer in such a cruel way as he literally deteriorates in front of you eyes.
It definitely helps to talk so do reach out - I adored my Dad but I think he would have been beside himself if knew exactly what was going on. He was a very proud and private man and in the end he was incontinent and couldn’t walk.
It was a happy release in the end. My common sense knows that but my heart still breaks when I think about it.
Take good care of yourself.
Julie x