@Abdullah is one who helped me a lot already and I look forward to his thoughtful posts. I was wondering how his visit to his mum was yesterday and thought its weird he hadn’t posted so clicked on his name and see he is suspended? This made me sad as I found him a source of support. What happened and will you let him back please? (though maybe he won’t now even if you do 
).
1 Like
Oh no, why is Abdullah suspended? He really contributed so much and comforted so many on here, myself included.
2 Likes
I noticed Sandra @Stargazer has also been suspended! I’m very surprised that she has upset anyone
2 Likes
I don’t know if this thread,too, will be locked but as a long term user and beneficiary of this site PLEASE can we get back to supporting each other instead of letting silly spats destroy our place of refuge…we are letting the deviseness which is in every thing around us destroy something intrinsically good.
Admin have an incredibly difficult job and none of us here should be putting them in the position of judging one griever’s needs and feelings over another’s…of course we should all try to keep within the guidelines and may need a gentle reminder sometimes but we need to rise above transient issues and remember that we live with the pain of losing our loved ones…we are only here because they are not and arguing and taking offence when none is meant besmirches their memory.
Please can we all just calm down, Take a deep breath, and start again.
Take care EVERYONE.x
7 Likes
Jooles, it was a private message so perhaps leave it there. There are two sides to every story.
Thank you Ameliesgran for your voice of reason. Let’s hope it’s heeded.
2 Likes
I haven’t said anything else and i don’t intend to
I don’t know anything about what happened. didnt think what it could be and definitely don’t want to start arguments, i posted as so bewildered why anyone is suspended. All I know is there is not much keeping me going, this site had become one of my main props if not the main one and now I feel this is slipping away too. I can’t get out of bed today. don’t know what to do .
1 Like
Fluer ignore the drama. Just keep posting. X
2 Likes
Dear Fleur
Sorry to learn that today has not started well for you…sometimes staying in bed for a little while is a good thing…somewhere where we can feel “safe” for a little while. Like you, this site is one of my props…although it doesn’t lessen the heartache there is so much reassurance in knowing that others are wearing similar shoes…don’t give up…this chapter of our lives is probably the most difficult one to write but it follows on from the joy and happiness which fill the previous pages and we will eventually get it written.
Take care…keep posting and know that we are stronger together. X
5 Likes
Thank you all for sharing your concerns and feedback. We do not disclose or discuss details of any moderation action taken, apart from with the member in question. We would ask that the conversation focuses on the people who need support, and does not drift in to discussion or speculation about why a member may have been suspended. Our priority continues to be maintaining a welcoming and safe space for people who are struggling with grief and bereavement and every report that is made to us is investigated in full. Please be assured that we always strive to manage and moderate the community in a fair and balanced manner.
We know that all members of this community, and people who read the site without becoming members, are here for the same reason: support with grief and bereavement. It is our main concern that this space continues to be welcoming and supportive and we will always moderate with that in mind.
Thank you.
5 Likes
Thank you all. I still miss Abdullah but can appreciate i don’t know the full story and I very much like all of you too so I don’t want to speculate or talk more about this.
One thing I wonder is what is the difference between a member and non member and how do you become a member? I originally thought it might be something to do with that and why I was so confused.
No don’t worry. There are no distinctions. members are the term they use for everyone that uses the site.
1 Like
ahhh ok, thanks 
Sorry to butt in but are members also aware that we have lost Jonathan who has left the forum. What is happening.
1 Like
That is not good news Pat…I hope he reconsiders because he is so needed here.x
2 Likes
What??!?!? That’s a huge shame! 
1 Like
Hi Pattidot -Jonathans posts were so helpful to me and many others so I hope he will be back soon.
1 Like
Nooo
At least I’m glad you are here Pattidot as I had been wondering about you too as hadn’t seen you for a few days. I know I’m not here long but already really rely on you all. Also I wonder where these people will now get their own comfort from . This is so sad.
Pat he is probably thoroughly fed up I should think.
The last thing I want to do is open up old wounds but I don’t think we can just put a sticking plaster on this latest “spat”. This site has been a lifeline to so many…including me! …I keep thinking I should be strong enough to do without it, that perhaps reading the heartrending words from new users exacerbates my own inabilty to “progress” any further, but if I am ever able to help In any way then it almost affirms my being here in the first place…there is solace in knowing that we are not struggling alone and so little help and support readily available elsewhere.
I often wonder what has happened to once frequent posters whose names no longer appear…I hope their absence means that they have found support elsewhere or that their need has subsided… but to learn that people have left or been suspended because of a temporary “disagreement” is really distressing. Grief is hard enough without adding additional stress and the site will not perform. its primary function of universal support if there is no compassion or understanding at all levels. If we become frightened to post in case we cause unintentional upset, then the site will slowly collapse. I don’t know what the answer is…it sometimes seems to me that this all coincides with the changes made when the site was updated or perhaps it is that the virus has just spread the intolerance and devisiveness of today’s society along with its other symptoms!
Whatever, I hope thaf Abdullah, Johnathan and anyone else who has been affected will read this and be able to rise above the upset and join us once again…we need each other x
3 Likes