Knowing we were facing limited time, we never had that final conversation. I lost my wife, soulmate on 3rd October 2025 after a five year battle of breast and then bone cancer, my whole world. I cannot describe the pain I feel, my Life feels so empty now. She was the light of my life, I can’t stop crying, knowing that I’ll never see or speak to her again is ripping my heart to shreds, i am devastated beyond belief. Going for a daily walk has me in floods of tears, waves of grief that have me hunched up and utterly miserable. I’ve been on a park bench, get a trigger of grief break into uncontrollable sobs all the time seeing happy contented couples go past. Its like I’m invisible in this world. I NEVER IMAGINED GRIEF would be SO UNREMITTINGLY PAINFUL.
I feel the same. My heart is breaking on tow every single day. I lost my Ray on 17th October after 8 weeks, pancreatic cancer. I’ll never unsee his suffering in hospital. He couldn’t talk about his diagnosis either and we never had those conversations. I’m just lost without him, I sorted some clothes last Friday, or tried to, and I just had to stop the crying was never ending. I just miss everything about him, the funniest man, big smile, kind to everyone. Miss him playing his bass guitar and keyboards. Now the house is just silent. Keep posting here, everyone understands what you’re going through. People outside the door, if they haven’t experienced what we are, can’t know the indescribable pain of deep grief. Take care x
I am so sorry you are going through this. It’s torture, I know. All I can say is that my experience has been that this is what happens. If you keep the post you have written ‘Abject misery’ and read it again in say, 9 months time, whatever suits, I think you will find yourself reading it from the angle of a mourner ‘who knows what it’s like’. Something, surely will have softened and changed for the better within you and things won’t be so raw. You may even find you can offer some advice. You’ll see.
Thank you for your kind words
I know your pain and trust me you’re not alone . I listen to my husband 6 months ago suddenly if a heart attack and his adult kids blame me but yet they were never there for him . Now his family is fighting me for money . If it wasn’t for my belief in God , I don’t know what I would do Fix is going go strengthen you trust me. You will smile again at the good times you had with your beautiful wife .