I am finding this saying becoming more relevant to me.I miss him more now than when he died.I can see his face so clearly,his fingernails ,his scars from his hip replacements.I see him walking without struggling.I remember how his hand felt in mine.I even did a dinner for him last night .I thought he was coming home from work.Silly of me really as he was 78.Do I need to see a doctor ? I don’t know if anyone else is going through this ? I feel so low.
6 Likes
I’m so sorry for you. I know exactly how you are feeling. I think it’s quite okay , and very lovely for you to cook for your lovely husband. And if it brought you some comfort, within the sadness to do this, then good. 14 months for me now, and the pain is as bad as ever.
The tears come more, and just derp deep pangs of loneliness and missing.
I buy all sorts of things for my husband. A little while ago I saw a card that said “BRILLIANT HUSBAND - YOU REALLY ARE THE BEST”
just had to buy it, and bring it home , and write in it for him. I’m looking at it now, it’s on his little table by the sofa.
I bought him cards and presents for his birthday a couple of weeks ago. I got him the new Southampton Away shirt, with his name on, in his size. It feels normal, and it helps me. So I don’t care one iota what anyone else thinks.
I wore his new shirt on his birthday for him. And the people who really care about me thought it was a lovely thing to do . I just want to keep doing things to keep him alive to me. Because I still haven’t accepted what the truth is (I don’t even want to type the ‘d’ word)
You carry on doing anything you want that helps you, even if it makes you sad at the same time.
Grief is complicated, and so personal.
It’s your grief, no one else’s.
Love and hugs 
5 Likes