Hi, I’m new to the group. I recently lost my Dad. Im finding things really tough

1 Like

Hi @Andid . Youve come to the right place, because we all understand what its like, and how difficult it is in the early stages of grief. Please tell us more about the major issues you are struggling with. Its good to talk and share.

1 Like

Hello thank you for reaching out to me. My partner isn’t keen on me talking about Dad. He finds it draining and yet I find it helps and I don’t wanna fall out with him

You cant bottle it up, its extremely important you talk about him. So I’d consider, talking to us, friends, a local bereavement group, a therapist, or to the support you get here at Sue Ryder.

I remember that a good female friend just sat and listened, then asked “what is your happiest memory of Penny?”

So I’ll ask you, what is your happiest memory of your dad,? If you are happy to answer, of course. I always remember my best memory and fetch it out if I feel I am getting upset.

Hi @Andid,
There is no pressure to talk if it makes you uncomfortable, but at the same time, you need to do what is right for you. If your partner is uncomfortable talking about dad, that’s ok, maybe it’s just too soon for them to feel comfortable or able to talk about him, that’s ok, but it’s also important that if you feel you need to talk, you know you have someone you can talk to, even if it’s a close friend or family member, you do what feels right for you.

Hello and thank you. My happiest memory is seeing my dad feeding tortoise in Turkey. He loved our holiday so much and it brings me so many precious memories

1 Like

I just feel like it’s all in my chest and nobody’s interested in hearing about my sadness. People just assume you should move forward and I can’t

1 Like

We are interested, and we all understand it! Weve all seen people who try to avoid the situation (often because they fear upsetting you ) and those who assume you’ll “get over it!”.

Seek out those “special” people who will just sit and listen, and encourage you. These are the people who will give you hugs!
It takes time. All we can do is take one step in front of the other, and you will find yourself on the journey.
Keep posting, and when you get upset, just think of your Dad and tortoises and smile.

I always think of my favourite memory of Penny, it was 50 years ago but I cannot not smile at the thought.


Hi @Andid,
Grief is sad, & painful at times, we are all here because we know that, that’s why we share & support eachother. One of the great things to sue Ryder, no-one will ever say they aren’t interested, or tell you to “move on”, no one here could ever be that cruel.
When someone we love passes, we carry them in our hearts, we never move on from them, we bring them with us, in our hearts.
I was glad to hear of your happy memory of your dad, feeding tortoise in Turkey, it sounds really cool.
I have a special memory of my mom that always makes me smile. We used to play charades every Christmas, but my mom had the logic that things that were spelt the same must sound the same, wrong, so when she did “sounds like”, it usually came out wrong, so we ended up with “George of the joogle”, “Booty & the beast”, or that famous Elvis song, “Honk-a Honk-a burning love,” or simple minds “Doughnut you forget about me”, I can’t think of them without laughing.
Sending hugs of support.