aching inside for the loss of my dear dad

I lost my dad suddenly 3 months ago and all I can say is not a day a minute an hour a second goes by he’s I’m my mind constantly, I feel angry at why they couldn’t bring him back why him why did he have to die? I can’t accept the loss He was my dad, I don’t know how I will ever be the same again I don’t feel like me anymore I feel like someone else

Hi Lilygwen,

A warm welcome to our Online Community, although I know it’s not one where you would have wanted to end up. I’m so sorry to hear about the sudden loss of your dad - it sounds as though it was a total shock.

It is very common to feel angry and not to feel like yourself - a loss like this will have had a huge impact on you.

This site is your space to let it all out and be honest about what you are feeling. You aren’t alone, and there are lots of others here who’ve been through similar experiences. For example, here are some other recent conversations between members who’ve lost a parent - if you feel like talking to these people, you can add your own reply at the end:

I’m the community manager here, so if you have any questions or need help, just get in touch.


Hi Lilywen,

My mum died in February. She had COPD. I feel guilty of not spent time with my mum in the last 2 years of her life. My 16 year old son is autistic and he is hard work.

We moved a long way from were my parents lived last year. My mum was really upset, but she did visit our new house once.

All I can think of is my mum in the last week of her life attached to a morth one morphine pump.

Sorry to hear about your mum my dad died suddenly he had various op’s on his liver he got blood poisoning and was taken in to hospital they noticed that his organs were failing so they transferred him to addenbrooks as he had a kidney transplant a year ago there and they were specialist to deal with him when he arrived he had a bleed on his brain then had a heart attack they tried to revive him but it was to late he died I didn’t get to see him before he died and I’m really struggling I can’t accept he has gone X

Hi my dad suddenly died of a heart attack three weeks ago. It still feels like he’s here even though i know he is not. Is this normal ? i’m scared i’m going to hit rock bottom if i don’t have the feeling he’s still around me .

Your dad wouldn’t want u like this. My comfort is accepting we all have to die no matter what so we either l let this grief take us early or we fight through it. We all go same place wherever it is.

I lost my Dad just over a year ago now, he died very suddenly of a heart attack, I was only 18 at the time and lost my closest friend in the world. I just wanted to post here in the hope that I might give you some comfort. For me it got worse before it got better, there was a point late last year when I really didn’t think I could cope any more, but I have got better.

I still miss him every single day and I still cry for him and mourn him, but I know that he lived his life to the fullest and would want me to do the same. You’re not alone in your grief and don’t be afraid to speak to someone, for me it was a counselor at my university. Just don’t shut yourself away from the world, because from my experience that really doesn’t help, take everyday as it comes and don’t shut off your emotions embrace them, if you want to cry, cry, if you remember a happy time and want to laugh, do it! Keep your head up, it doesn’t seem like it now, but things will improve!

Hello Pidge52

I’m new to this site and I don’t know what I want to say about the loss of my wife just 8 weeks ago. But I do know that I want to thank you for last posting as I worry about how my son is coping. It really has cheered me. I just hope my son has something of the openness and courage you have shown. All the best.

As long as your son knows you’re there for him that will be the biggest comfort, myself and my mum leaned on each other and it got us through by taking turns to be strong for one another.

I’m so sorry for you and your son’s loss and my thoughts are with you both.

Hi Pidge52

Thanks for posting. I really don’t know how to get to the place i should be or need to be. I have no family support. In fact my brother told family members that he didn’t want them to tell me my father had called and died.
He didn’t in fact die on the phone. My Aunty told me and i flew to his house and he died 5 minutes after i arrived. I’m on my own through this. I live alone as my daughter has moved out. I cry uncontrollably at times and talk to my dad.
Iv’e booked psychotherapy for myself as it’s all too much and i have asked my dad to come and get me so i can be with him. he was the only constant thing in my life. My brother and mother don’t care about me since age 15. My mum and dad were divorced. I’m crying writing this. I can’t just say to myself he’s gone. I have to think he’s still here.