Has anyone found it difficult to adapt to life without been a carer any more ? My dad got diagnosed with cancer and he died 3 weeks later . A year after and I still struggle .
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Hello Jasmine, yes being a carer takes all your time and effort. I think it was about 6/8 months before I realised that I had time on my hands and tried filling it with the garden and house chores. By the end of the first year I knew I had to find something to occupy those hours and I started volunteering. It did take some convincing that I was ready but it filled some of my time. I think you begin to slow down as well because you don’t have the same things to worry about.
Hope this helps a little, I am sure there are many on here who have had the same experience and how they over come the void. Stay safe. S xx
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Hi,
I lost my dad 7 weeks ago after caring for him 24/7 for 12 years 
I’m lost!! I have never experienced anything like this and honestly don’t know how I’m going to cope!!! My head is racing, full of fear and panic but I actually sleep okay!!! Up to today!! I joined this forum a few days ago so time will tell how beneficial it is, this is my first post!!!
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Hi Patrick,
It’s so sad to hear about your loss and it sounds as though you had a wonderful bond with your Dad. You must be proud of what you did for him for all those years. You must’ve been a great support to him.
I really miss my lovely Mum and don’t expect I’ll get over her absence going forward. She died a month ago and we were very close. She’d been ill for a long time (like your Dad) and it’s horrible when people we love suffer.
I hope we can rebuild our lives around the grief. I guess we’ll always long for the special person who are no longer there but I think our parents would hope we live on in happiness.
Take care
Stephen
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Hi Stephen,
It’s over 10 weeks now since I wrote initially and I have to say that there’s no improvement whatsoever I just seem to be getting more down…the readjustment to life without the person who was always there for me in every respect…we loved each other unconditionally and as regards me feeling pride…I reckon that it’s going to come in time but it’s not an emotion that I presently feel…I’m saying all this as a 52 year old man but I actually feel like a child in relation to this issue!!!
You’re only 4 weeks into your journey…similar to myself…it’s nothing…one thing I notice is that every day brings something new and not in a good way…I actually don’t know if I’ll ever get over this!!! Another point that I’d like to make which is totally new is that I didn’t just lose my dad I actually lost so much more
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Hi Patrick,
I’m so sorry! It is so dreadful that we have lost one of the biggest loves of our lives. Losing a parent is so tough for anyone, adult or child. Particularly, when you shared a very close bond. That really hits.
You are further along in your grief than I am. I’m sorry our grief has to be so tough and that you’ve had even more loss. I don’t feel confident about how my life is going to be going forward. I’m scared, vulnerable and worried about how I’m going to cope.
The thought of doing everything on my own scares me. Christmas, birthdays… all without Mum. I’ve just had Easter and the May bank holiday alone. I hated it.
For what little it does to help I’m sending my best wishes. Grief bonds us here and I wish it didn’t.
Stephen,
Scared,vulnerable and don’t think that I’ll cope…100% empathise also the two long weekends…he’ll!!!
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