ADELE

Thankyou for the add.
I lost my beautiful wife Adele to bladder cancer 8 weeks ago today . She battled it bravely for nearly 2 years . But after a week in hospital with us by her side continually holding her hand and telling her we loved her ,she passed .
We met on a club1830 holiday back in 1990 . And were inseparable ever since we’ve been together 32 years and married 30 next month . We only ever spentc2 nights apart once in 31 years .
She was only 53 .
We have 3 fantastic grown kids ,daughters aged 27,25 and my son just turned 18 a week after his mum passed .
I’m really not coping at all , I can’t stop crying, haven’t been to work , all I want to do is look at her photos . I’m trying to be strong for the kids … but am failing miserably .
I wouldn’t do anything f stupid ,but I just want to be with her again .
I’ve barely slept and am hardly functioning . If I do go out ,shopping ,gym etc - I feel guilty on my return for not thinking about her as much whist out °enjoying myself °
thankyou for listening XXX

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Hello @Robby, welcome to the community, though I’m very sorry for the sad reason that you are here and the loss of your wife Adele. I hope you find the community to be a support to you. I wanted to share our Bereavement information pages in case you found them helpful: https://www.sueryder.org/how-we-can-help/bereavement-information

I think lots of our members will relate to your feelings of guilt. It’s also totally understandable to want to be strong for your children, but if you’re struggling to get through the day, it might be worth having a chat with your GP about any additional support that you may need. We also offer online bereavement counselling. It’s free, there’s not currently much of a waiting list, and you can find out more here: https://www.sueryder.org/online-bereavement-counselling

Take good care and please do keep reaching out,

Seaneen

Robbie, so sorry for your loss, the pain and emotions are so hard to manage. My wife Carole passed away seven weeks ago and I sympathise with how you feel.
We knew each other for half of my life, 28 and a bit years and everything has now changed for ever.
I am trying to think positive thoughts and do something each day to give me some kind of achievement, trying to get some structure into my life. It is hard going but I am hoping that by continuing I am doing what my Carole would want. I speak to her all the time and send my love to her, letting her know that I am doing my best. I have gone back to work on phased return and luckily everyone there has been really supportive. Also had some counselling and hypnosis which was really good to get my sleep pattern better. I am still obviously struggling but at times the pain is less which is such a relief as the anxiety and feeling overwhelmed is crippling.
I hope at some stage in our lives we can look back with love and be able to smile at all the beautiful memories.
Sending love
Joe

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Hello Robby
Please don’t feel guilty
I was crying yesterday and it’s been 4 years next month since my husband died
We were together for 25 years he was only 49 when he died
It’s how I manage to cope with my grief
We just can’t switch off our emotions when you have loved someone
You just have to as the saying goes “plod on as best as you can “
I never feel guilty about getting on with my life as best as I can
I feel broken ,loss no purpose anymore as David was my life my soul mate

Have you thought about writing in a journal?
It may help you writing down how you are feeling
Remember there is no right and wrong with grief
You have been so strong for your children so maybe it’s your time for you to grieve properly
One thought if you had died would you had wanted your wife to feel like this
Probably not
You would want her to live her life
You take Robby

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