Adopt A Grandma

This may seem a strange conversation and the title a slight exaggeration but although I can never ever replace my amazing mum…I miss having an older lady/mentor in my life and someone to love my 2.5 year old twin boys.
I am an only child aged 47 and after 7 IVFs I got 2 miracles and my mum worshipped them. We would spend hours on the phone each day and she would be inundated with photos of them and was so proud. of everything they did. And now there is no one to tell…I still have my dad but it is just not the same ( bless him).
I hear all the time about older people who are lonely and maybe have no family and here I am with a wonderful husband, 2 .5 year old boys and 2 chihuahuas (My fur babies) and no lady/mother figure to share it with.
Can anyone help provide an organisation etc that might connect the 2 generations together? I have googled for days and come back with nothing, only in Australia they do Adopt A Grandparent hence the title of my message. Thanks in advance for reading xxx

Hi lisa Julia
I know exactly what you mean. My mum died suddenly in june and she lived with my 12 year old daughter and I.
We miss her so much and for practical reasons I have had to employ a lady to look after my daughter while I work. I found a lady who is late 60s and has no family of her own.
While I’ve been lucky to find someone who can bed with my daughter from 5am to 7am of a morning and 4pm onwards of an evening, both my daughter and I are angry and bitter that it’s not my mum who is there anymore.
Obviously my daughter doesnt show this to the lady and I hardly see her because I’m at work, but we cope much better with our loss when this lady isnt around.
Of course that’s just me and you probably wont feel like that but I just thought I would give you my experience.
I have seen services advertised on TV where you can invite an elderly person round for sunday dinner or arrange to call them for a chat every week which is lovely.
Perhaps Help the Aged can assist?

Cheryl x

Be with not bed with

That’s a lovely idea LisaJulia. I would contact help the aged. Like Cheryl says think there are organisations around where you can invite a lonely elderly person round.

I have a lady down my road she is my friends mum. She brings me flowers every week as she knew my mum used to buy me flowers. She gives me a big cuddle when she sees me. It’s so lovely. I’ve had a few little cries on her shoulder. It’s just nice having a mother figure she is more comforting than my friends.

Thanks for your reply and your feelings. I am a stay at home mum so I would not need it for practical reasons and my mum lived 2 hours away . It would be for companionship/friendship, someone a little older and maybe wiser and can help with decisions in life. An example last week I was taking the boys trampolining and Logan was so excited but Landon was a bit under the weather and I could not decide what to do and I thought…“I will ring my mum and see what she thinks” but she as gone and I will never replace her but I had no one to call. I also think my mum would approve knowing that I could maybe bring some joy to someone who is lonely with no one to talk to.
I had discussed this with my bereavment Councillor and she felt that in my case it would be a good idea.
Help the Aged is a great Idea thanks so much Cheryl x

Let us know how you get on.
I totally get where you are coming from. We are just struggling with mums absence from our home and life so much x

That sounds perfect and just what I need. Unfortunately I have not got that and really missing that in my life.
And maybe in time someone to take with me to the toddlers play cafes… I struggle going at minute as feel bitter at all the ladies there with their mums and children with their grandma.
Thanks again Jooles45

Of course I will! I have my lovely dad and I now ring him 3 times a day ! but there are certain things I just cant talk to him about. xx

Oh I love this idea…if only it was that simple ey! I often think that after my mum died that I wish someone would adopt me :joy: I’m literally so lost now…my mum always used to tell me (in a nice way) how ditzy I was and now I have no one to call everyday

Anyway…it’s not quite the same but, since my mum died I volunteer with a charity called independent age - you can either visit the person once a week for a chat and a cuppa or phone them once a week. I do the phoning version - once a week a ring a lovely 72 year old man…his wife died 6 years ago and he has no children etc. At first I thought it would be weird but I can’t even describe how warm (cheesey) it makes me feel inside when I get off the phone to him and he tells me how he hasn’t spoken to anyone all week or thanks me for calling him. At first it was, because I was lonely or because I wanted to help the charity but looking at it now, it has actually helped me and he’s kind of my friend now even though he’s 40+ years older than me!! But yes, look them up and maybe it’ll be what you are looking for :blush:

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Tasha,

What a lovely thing you are doing. Because my mum was surrounded by loving daughters and grandchildren, siblings and friends it’s easy to forget that there are others who have nobody at all.
When I’m stronger and not so bitter with the world I would like to do what you are doing.
Cheryl x

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Oh I am still very bitter, angry and confused and I know 100% I wouldn’t of even thought about this If I hadn’t lost my mum, which is also sad in a way really.

It works both ways, older people can also join the charity and find a volunteer to chat to them.

Hope you are as well as can be Cheryl xxxxx

Tasha2019 I am exactly the same, even at 47 years old I was her little girl and now I have to grow up and make decisions on my own which makes me so sad! I used to speak to her 4 times a day EVERY day and tell her all about her grandsons and ask her opinions and now there is a massive void. God I miss her so much :sob:
On a positive note I have received the application form from Age UK and all filled in and ready to post tomorrow .
Will update you all how I get on.

Ahhh :heart: Same!! I was 29 when my mum died (last year) but I feel like a kid who’s lost her mum lol like I get stuck with so many things and I’m like oh…who do I ask now and I feel so lost. That’s good news about age uk, very quick of them to send it already. I hope you find something with them that helps you xxxx