After another lockdown, which is at the worst time as my Angel Mums memorial is in December, my anxiety is at its worst. There’s so many little things that I’m struggling with even though its been nearly 4 years. Please could anyone advise how to carry on with family life after such a loss? I say carry on as move on sounds like leaving my mum behind and I couldn’t bear the thought, I want to start enjoying my children doing all the things they love again, to show them their own mum can smile more and cry less, basically I want to learn to live a life again
Hi. Clairem. Welcome back. Four years or forty years, the pain can still be felt. Time has little to do with grief. Sounds, sights or even smells can be ‘triggers’ to remind us of our loss. You have not left your mum behind, neither has she left you. We all underestimate the power of real love. Nothing can touch it or destroy it. It’s the golden thread that links us with them.
I know how difficult it can be, but acceptance is still the answer. What has happened has, and there is nothing we can do about it except accept it has happened. Constantly reminding ourselves and the pain it brings is not good. Would you mum have wanted that? Advice is pretty useless because no one is in your shoes. We can only make suggestions.
You have kids to bring up. Their care is now your top priority.
You are so right. We need to learn how to live a life without them. Not easy at all, but it can be done given the will.
Try and accept what has been has been. The future is important to you with a young family.
Blessings. Be kind to yourself. John.
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I have no idea what to advise but I hope for you that you can carry on and find a way to enjoy the life you have left for other people.
I can’t offer advice though as it seems hypocritical when I have no idea right now how to carry on myself. I hope you find a way.