My dad died 10 weeks ago suddenly and unexpectedly following a freak occurrence. He was a strong, fit and healthy man. His death was and still is a huge shock for me and my family.
Since his death I have been the main support for my mum who is understandably devastated and heartbroken.
I have been on sick leave from work since his death. My work colleagues and manager have been very supportive and understanding. However I have found my gp surgery to be less helpful. I feel like I have had to beg for sick notes and justify why I’m not ready to return to work.
Initially I was told I didn’t need to speak to a doctor they would just issue a sick note. My first sick note was for two weeks. When I next requested a sick note I was given a further two weeks and told should I require more time I would have to make an appointment and speak to a doctor. So after numerous phone calls and sitting in phone queues for almost an hour I eventually got to speak to a doctor. Although he was kind he clearly did not have any experience or knowledge of bereavement and didn’t really know what to say to me. He gave me a sick note for a month. Once that had elapsed I got a further sick note for 3 weeks. That runs out tomorrow so I requested another. The doctor that called me today was cold and uncaring and told me I should be getting back to normal now and getting back to a routine by going back to work. The whole time I was on the phone to her I was crying. She said the longer I have off the harder it will be to go back. Which initially I understood and can see her point. She tried to push for me to go back to work this week but eventually said she would give me a further 2 weeks then I should return on phased return.
I have done nothing but cry since the phone call and then to top it off I received my sick note and she has given me 7 days. So I will have to return on Tuesday.
I don’t feel ready to go back. I am still very emotional and still in a state of disbelief. I can’t imagine doing my job let alone doing it to the high standards I usually uphold.
I really feel like the surgery has absolutely no compassion or understanding. I feel like they don’t care. They are essentially saying 10 weeks is adequate time to get over the sudden loss of a significant person in my life. Not one doctor has asked the circumstances of his death - which I feel is quite important as I’m finding it hard to come to terms with, they’ve not asked who I’ve lost, what my support network is like or if I need any extra support. They just want to get off the phone as quick as possible.
I’m just really worried about returning to work too soon and not being able to cope and then having to go back to square one and potentially damaging my mental health long term. Not only that, I’m not ready to leave my mum completely on her own whilst I work full time. I have spent every day with her since to support her and do things she’s not up to doing. I know I’ve probably not helped long term as it will be hard to go from being there every day to not being there but I really feel awful if I’m not there with her.
Has anybody else had any difficulties in getting sick leave or sick notes? What are other peoples doctors like? Any advice?