Advice please

Hello 3weeks ago I lost my husband/beT friend , my family say I’m being strong but when they are not around I’m feel lost and empty is this normal please help

Hello Julie

Yes - if you read the posts on here it is absolutely normal. I lost my husband and best friend just over 8 weeks ago - I feel empty too - it is almost like a physical pain. Some days are better than others and I am Ok when I am with my family, or talking to friends. I cannot allow myself to think too much as that is when the sorrow floods in, not just about missing him but about the things we should be doing or were planning on doing - from the mundane little things to holidays, or plans for the house. That leaves me feeling lost as it makes me aware of being alone. So I try and make lists of things I need to do in order to distract me from these thoughts. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. I am only a few weeks down the line from you - but it is still early days and there are others on here who are probably wiser than me. All I know is that this forum has become a lifeline for me.
Trisha xx

1 Like

Hello julie, so sorry for your loss, it is perfectly normal to feel the way you’re feeling. It is 13 months and 2 weeks tomorrow since my husband passed away, I still feel lost. You will have days when you feel relatively ok by comparison to the days when you’re completely distraught. Bad days, not so bad days. These days fir ne are now rollercoaster days where I experience all the different days crammed into one.

There’s no time limit on grief and no one can tell you what you should and shouldn’t do or feel. If you want to cry then do so.

If you feel rage and anger then feel it. Everyone on this forum understands completely what you’re going through, we’re a at different stages yet travelling the same enforced road. We’re all on the journey none of us want to make. If you want to rant, let off steam or just talk about your feelings then we’re all here to listen and to help.

This forum has been salvation for me and for everyone here of that I have no doubt.


1 Like

…of course this is normal, why would you need to ask?
I lost my partner 12 weeks ago and not one day has gone that i have not cried nor spoken to him…


1 Like

Hi. Julie.
It’s so important not to feel shame or embarrassment when allowing emotions to come. As others have said, let it come. The grieving process will out in some way and ‘bottling up’ is far from good. I know people get embarrassed if we show emotion. I have come upon this a lot. But if you are wanting to unload counselling can be very useful, or come on here. The one thing you can be sure of is that there will be no criticism or embarrassment. No way!
Take care. It’s very early days and we are all with you 100%. You are far from alone. You may need a hug if permitted. We are a lot of huggers on here.

Hi Julie I am so sorry for your loss I lost my husband of 46 years seven months ago and like you,family and friends say I am so strong, they dont see the real me when I am alone in an empty quiet house. It’s the worst thing that can happen to anyone and it is going to take us a long time to come to terms with our loss. I miss my husband£ every minute of the day I try to muddle my way through,sometimes I feel I am getting three and then I sink into doom and gloom. There are so many of us feeling as you do and sharing our problems in this way can help us feel less alone in our grief.

My thoughts are with you, keep in touch

Love c xx

Back to top