Hi. I lost my Dad unexpectedly on new years eve.
I am trying to sort out his funeral and belongs.
I have siblings, but i ask for advice and help and they tell me to sort it.
But when i make a decision its ended in an argument as they say they don’t get a say in what decision i am making!
Ive got to go to funeral directors today, and ive ask them their option on things and they don’t reply.
I am seriously stressed and struggling.
I feel so alone and i need some advice on what’s is best to do?
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Hello @Ellie01,
I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. It sounds like you’ve got a lot on your shoulders right now, it’s understandable you’re feeling so stressed.
I’m just giving your thread a gentle bump - I’m sure someone will be along to share their thoughts.
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So sorry for your loss. This sounds very unfair for you. Your siblings can’t expect you to do all of this alone. Can you maybe all try and come together to all help with the arrangements?
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I’m so sorry for your loss @Ellie01
Personally, i don’t think there will be any pleasing your siblings. If they refuse to help, they shouldn’t complain!
If its possible, could you hire a solicitor to deal with the estate and belongings? Someone who is completely fair and impartial? I know that this will be expensive, and so its not for most people, but if you can it may help to stop any disputes and arguments. Look into it if you can. Is there anyone else to help you? Aunts, uncles ect?
I had no help from family with my mums funeral, but the funeral directors were lovely and really helped with the process. You can always change any detail about the funeral within the next few days aswell if need be.
I hope your siblings step up for you, but if not, please just do what you feel is best for your Dad.
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I took the simple route when my wife died, I went to the Coop, and said I wanted a no fuss direct cremation, nobody to attend, can you fix it?
Answer: yes of course, leave everything to us, we will keep you fully informed, that will cost you £1100. It all happened without a hitch.
I involved nobody else, but organized a memorial party for her in a local pub.
I’ve left instructions that I want exactly the same when it’s my turn.
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Hi. What I didn’t mention was that whilst no-one could attend the cremation, the coop kept me fully informed about the date, time and place of the cremation. So I went to the crematorium at the right time, and stood outside, in the garden of remembrance with her little dogs. A couple of her closest friends chose to join me, and we talked, cried and said our goodbyes. But I didn’t advertise it to one and all.
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