Through lockdown I’ve begun to cope. I’ve had many treats, 2,3 o’clock in the morning, but I was ok - just! So now I’ve begun to go out. With our group of friends-13, not 14. A Leeds castle event - not the real thing but as we all live near Biggin Hill the Spitfire flew over returning from its usual trip out at the usual time. Then someone showed me a video of Steve singing Land of Hope and Glory. I held it together- a few tears - profusely apologetic to friends next to me. Then Jerusalem. That was it. The hymn that Steve asked me for for his funeral. I had to go. I
Tears not treats!
@Montague well done on going out. I struggle with it, and have retreated into my own shell a lot since my partner died.
Like you I have also withdrawn into my own world. People say this is not the right thing to do but I find that the outside world has nothing to offer me now that my husband is no longer with me. I have been away with my family in order to scatter my husband’s ashes and to spend some time together. Ventured out on two occasions by myself but find myself feeling totally lost, lonely and out of my comfort zone trying to go for a coffee on my own. I have been a couple far too long to be able to go back to just me. Finding life not really getting any better.
I can relate to not wanting to go out I just think what for I feel worse if it’s even possible but I do . Because I didn’t want to go for coffee or walking most people don’t bother anymore but I’d rather be left alone I don’t think people undstand this loss . I lost my partner nearly 16 weeks ago and I’m the sane as when he first left he was my world my life my everything and we had our plans and now nothing so going for a coffee for half an hour means nothing in the scheme of things
Hugs to all
I went back to the beach where I scattered my husband’s ashes today. As I walked along I noticed only my footsteps in the sand. Another damning reminder that my husband is no longer at my side. I have always visited the beach and collected shells in the past with my husband. Now could not bring myself to pick any shells. Just so painful.
The beach was full of families and couples. My husband should have been with me making memories.
That’s so sad I feel your pain it’s all so unfair especially when I see couples holding hands laughing and happy why not me mine was taken away in one moment .
Hugs to you