After Loss of husband

Looking to the future
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Hi everyone my name is Bee23,

I am truly sorry for your loss.

It is 16 months tomorrow since I lost my Phil. I have been to hell and back so many times but I have never held back tears and talk to, or write to Phil when I need to. I desperately do not want to let him go after 50 years but I am feeling like that is how it has to be for me to move on with my grief.

I still have some bad days and weeks but I am also starting to look to the future and trying to find out who I am. I was married at 20 and had been with Phil until March 2024. I do not know who this single person is but I intend to find out. My personality is INFJ which is quite rare, especially for a woman. So I am learning who I am and what I still believe in. My husband knew I would need someone as loving and caring are part of my character. His dying wish was that I find someone. I will abide by his wishes but I am uncertain how to move forward. I am not an extravert and need time to get to know new people. My friends have known me for 50-60 years.

I do mindful meditation and exercise, look after myself and our house although it seems empty now I am alone. I cook my dinners most of the time and do the gardening as best I can. I have to get my shopping delivered as I cannot get to my local supermarket.

So you see there is life after loss, whether we want it or not. Good luck to you all, I will be thinking of you.

Kind regards,

Bee x

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Bee so sorry for your loss. Mine is more recent at 18 weeks today.
I feel exactly the same as you. I would have wanted my Jackie to find someone else as I am sure she would want me.

Trouble is that at my age, I have more chance of winning an olympic gold. :grinning: I will always love Jackie, but I know loneliness will be the end of me when I move back to Wales.

Still, for me there’s always my music. Do hope you are lucky to get what you want.

Take care :heart::heart:

Must admit I had to google the infj thing :grinning:

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Never say never Johnr, I said I would never find a special person for me. 8 weeks later I was engaged to be married. 50 years later I am alone again and the rest is a mystery. If I don’t find anyone I will have got to know myself well. Thank you for your reply I appreciate it. The personality traits is a passion of mine with mindfulness and character strengths, Psychology basically. It was something to do while I was fighting cancer in 2013.
Take care and good luck for the future.
Bee23 x

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Hopefully we will find someone to spend the rest of our lives with.

Take care :heart: