After second parent dies

I feel very lost because of now having lost both parents. Despite being late middle aged ( which don’t really admit to myself), I really feel in need of my parents help now. A negative part of me just wants to run away, and to have somebody else deal with the difficulties for me. But the buck stops with me, there is no-one else. However many people I talk to, I always feel lonely. As I am lonely for my parents, and for their help and support. 6 months after my mum died still stuck in limbo with processing the will. Plus on the outside is Covid. Feels impossible to deal with anything, without getting absolutely distraught. But I can’t really show that to other people.

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Hi @Helencl I’m so sorry - I really do know what you mean about how lonely it feels to have lost both parents. I am 58, and do have a supportive husband and children, but there is still a lonely place inside me from losing both dad and now my mum. Mum was my remaining parent for 27 years after dad died, and I didn’t realise how ‘safe’ and ‘normal’ everything felt when she was around, until she wasn’t. I feel so lost sometimes, because mum was such an anchor for me, and also knew all the things about me and my life before anyone else if that makes sense?

I don’t know if it will help at all, but there is a conversation on this site called ‘Adult Orphan’, where several other people who have lost both their parents have shared their stories and feelings. Might it be helpful to check that out? I found it really helped me to feel less alone - there are so many kind people who know what you are going through.

Take care, and keep posting and sharing x


Hi, yes what you are feeling is normal and with the pandemic things are even harder, trying to cope with everything right now must be very difficult. When I lost my parents things were so different. My heart goes out to you and I am very pleased you have found this site because there are others on here who are in the same situation. Please take your time at trying to feel what you can call normal because it does take time to come to terms with grief and I think many of us put that ‘brave’ face on which doesn’t help because everyone thinks you are fine when all you want to do is cry. If there’s someone you can talk to. Please try it. My thoughts and love is sent to you, please take care of yourself. xx

Thank you for responding to me. I was looking for ‘adult orphan’ support. So thanks for letting me know about that. It helps that others have experienced this and k ow how I feel

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It’s awful isn’t it that feeling of loneliness.


I have found that it’s a kind of loneliness that can’t be filled by other people @Victoria11 - my mum knew me longer than anyone else in my life, and there are so many experiences that only she knew about and which I can’t now talk about because no-one else would understand. She was even there when my daughter was born… Too many things I can never talk to her about again. It hurts.

Take care and keep writing x

Hi Helenci,
I know exactly what you mean, I lost my Dad in Feb and my Mum 11 years ago- he was all I had left and even knowing how much I needed him when he was here, I didn’t realise fully till he had gone how much is was my world. I have my husband and grown up sons around me, but feel totally alone and lost like you. Essentially an orphan even at 49. It’s so hard. I’m getting bereavement counselling from cruse- they might be able to help you work through your head…can’t say I’m feeling like I can accept or make sense of it myself yet. They say to write feelings down helps? Maybe this coukd help you. I wish you well