After the funeral

My partner of 17 years died from cancer over a month ago. It all happened so suddenly from no symptoms to him dying was a month. The last month has been so difficult and painful, organising his funeral and sorting all the practical things on my own.
Now the funeral is over, what happens now? I’m still crying several times daily, I miss him so much. I feel so lost. No direction in life, so abandoned, so alone in this world. He were suppose to be with me by my side till we both get old. He was suppose to look after me.

What do people do after the funeral? What is the point of living anymore? I’m constantly filled with sadness. I’d love to hear how people cope after the funeral

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I’m sorry, my partners funeral isn’t until the 14th but I’m dreading the finality of it.

Thinking of you


My husband’s funeral is on the 20th and I too do not know what to do then. We didn’t plan the future in minute detail but everything was interwoven with him. That future has been wiped out and I do not see any joy in an alternative one. Hugs to you


Hi Sukie
I lost my partner Ray October last year . I know exactly how you feel .I only wish I had
some answers for you but unfortunately I don’t. Earlier on first time I opened Ray’s wardrobe
as I thought I could sort his clothes out , but sat here crying like the rain as I just can’t do it .
like you the future looks bleak , but I think you just have to take each day as it comes and just take
the baby steps .I think as hard as it is we have to go through all these awful emotions! I find even though I get upset I want to keep talking about him and talking to him . I ask him ‘what should I do ‘
‘ what would you be saying to me now ‘ I do find that it helps me . I do hope you are getting support
I find coming here helps too as we are all feeling the same pain . Take care now and always around if you need a chat .:heart: Xxx


Thanks Janwell for your advice taking each day as it comes. I feel your pain and I can imagine how painful sorting your partner’s wardrobe would be. I can’t do that yet, his side of closet is closed as much as I want to hug his clothes. I went to my partner’s grave for the first time after the funeral over Easter and I just knelt and wept and wept, telling him how much I miss him and how scared I am being without him. I’m torn wanting to talk to and about him as I dont want to forget about him or the tiny details about him but at the same time it hurts so much.

My heart goes out to you. Try not to think of what happens after the funeral until it happens. Hope all goes well with the funeral and it is celebration of his life.

Thanks. Hope you’re coping as well as u can. Try not think of what happens after the funeral until it happens. Try take care of yourself and hope the funeral goes well and is a celebration of your partner’s life

@sukie sorry for your loss.

I am a ‘few weeks in’ after the funeral and was dreading this time. It is a difficult accepting time will move away from life without him, but yes every day ,every moment, take it as it comes.

Be gentle with yourself I think is important. I never knew what that meant but I think it just means don’t push yourself into anything you feel might be a pressure.

I know this can be difficult especially with work. My Paul also looked after me in a way I just can’t put into words I think that’s the biggest fear for met, exactly who am I now?

The permanence of life without our special person is unwritten, I 'd like it to stay that way, and why not?

Thinking of you all.


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Hi Sukie
It is strange you mentioning fear that’s exactly how I feel . I’m fearful of being on my own and having to deal with everything. It’s a terrible feeling. Even though Ray was disabled and couldn’t walk he was my rock ! We were together 24/7 but now nothing . I can understand your grief at the grave ,like me even though I’m months ahead of you I still can’t believe he isn’t coming back ! I try and think he is still with me in some shape or form . I have his ashes here with me but I know at some stage I have to let go . Life seems so cruel for us all who are grieving and I think we can only support each other on here and gain comfort from knowing we are all feeling the same . Take care xxx