After the funeral

Well, my partner’s funeral went better than expected. It was a lovely humanist service and several people got up and spoke about him, which was lovely. The music I chose was also appreciated by all.

My next door neighbours then took me to lunch. That helped the day pass. I am now going to go to bed and watch some mindless TV.

I think my problems will start tomorrow. There is bound to be a dip in my mood now that the funeral arrangements have been taken care of. I have some work to do but I imagine I will miss my other half dreadfully from now on, as many of you have also probably experienced.

What is one to do to try to get over such awful feelings?


You’ve taken the 1st step by acknowledging and voicing those worries and fears
There’s no magic wand just take one day at a time and be kind to yourself. It’s early days and you will have peaks and troughs along the way. If you need help reach out and ask for it people are more supportive than you think they just want to know how to help and be there for you. Don’t make any hasty life decision what we all have learnt along the way is that your emtions and coping skills are off the wall and that time to heal is what your body and mind needs. Take care


Hi it’s been over one year for me and sorry but those awful feelings haven’t gone away they just become part of your life and they live alongside you. Yes there are better days (not saying good as none of them are good) when you feel you are making progress but others drag you back to square one. Take each day as it comes. It’s gonna be tough and each day brings different challenges. Now the funeral is over you can try to plan what you’re going to do but it’s early days so don’t push yourself just do what you are able to in your own time.

Much love

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Hi Georgina,

I was just watching a silly film and the people smiling and laughing made me feel very alone and lonely. I lost half of myself when Andrew died and although people have been kind I really do not know how I am ever going to live my life without him.

He used to say to me that I was worried about him dying just because I would have to face living alone. He was so wrong. It is living alone without him that really hurts.

I can adjust to living on my own. I cannot see a future without you in my life.

I miss you so much and I will never meet anyone like you ever again. Life is so damn cruel.

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Hi same here. I have got used to living on my own even though I hate it. I don’t think I’m lonely - I have good friends and family who have been brilliant but all the same I feel alone. Just back from a weekend with old school friends which we have done every year and I loved coming back telling John all about it. Instead returning to an empty home exactly the same as I had left it broke my heart :broken_heart: sadly there’s not much we can do about it and we just have to plod on.

Head up lady and stay strong :muscle: you’ve got this.

Georgina xx

I am trying but I really did not want to get out of bed this morning. I also have a rather sore head.

I just feel miserable and hate being so.


Sonia hi again
If you don’t want to get out of bed then dont. The last 16 months I’ve just done everything when I wanted to do it. There’s been days when I have just lounged around, that’s ok and days when I’ve gone for a swim and done a couple of miles, because i wanted to. There are no hard and fast rules to this grieving process - do things when you want to not when you think they should be done.

I’ve caught up on some household admin this morning and going for a swim this afternoon. I volunteer tomorrow but after that who knows. I’ll decide at the time.

You have all the time in the world and if a few extra hours in bed helps then stay there - no one cares :woman_shrugging:

All the best
Georgina xx