My husbands funeral was a week ago and now I feel my grief is very much a whole lot worse. I’ve come crashing down and sob out loud many times throughout the day. The pain is physically unbearable each time I sob. It is now 6 weeks since he passed away unexpectedly after a very short time in hospital. as an emergency admission by ambulance. I’m totally traumatised by the whole experience as was my beautiful husband. I was with with him by his side when he passed away while I was holding him.
Is this normal to feel like this? I know it is still very early days but just don’t know how to get through. I have very good support from my family and small circle of friends but there are so many times when my grief just feels the most lonely place on earth.
@Melly1
Dear Melly1 , yes, it is very normal. I think that at first you are deep in shock and you go through the motions automatically. There is such a lot to do leading up to the funeral that you don’t have much time to sit and think. Also you are emotionally exhausted by the whole experience. After the funeral the people who have been by your side and keeping you going slowly drift back to their own lives, everything goes
silent and then it hits you.
I was with my husband, holding his hand when he passed and I often think back to that terrible time. He looked so handsome and peaceful, I just wanted him to get up and come home with me. I suppose we were lucky,if you can call it that, that we were able to be with our husbands at the end as when I read of others experiences so many were not.
It is good that you have support around you. It is one day at a time now. Keep on crying when you need to, stay in bed all day if you want to, just do what you want to, there is no right or wrong.
Sending lots of strength and hugs xx
Alir , thank you , your words are so very true , and give me some comfort and I thank you for that. Yes i stayed in bed this morning , not to sleep but I just couldn’t or didn’t want to get out of bed . I stayed in and played on my games on my Kindle fire , so wrong but it felt right for me. I eventually got up and dressed at lunchtime. it just seemed to make the day a bit shorter. Just can’t eat much either , I can only eat late on an evening and nothing at all during the day. I know its not good but I just cant face food. I always loved to cook as did my husband, but now I can’t bear to to to cook just for me. I’m buying ready meals at present, which Ive never done before x
I have gone through this for 8 weeks now i think people disappear after the funeral ive had not alot of support to be honest im truly heartbroken really want him back but i know he’s never coming back or i want to join him maybe when i get the guts i will
Lee191, I’m so very sorry for your loss. The pain is truly unbearable. I’m saddened to read that you don’t feel that you have had a lot of support. Please don’t be afraid to reach out , sometimes people are unsure what to say to someone who is grieving. This online community has lots of support and although I have only posted a couple of times I have found other peoples posts and comments very helpful and of comfort to me. Sending love and hugs to you.
Thankyou for your kind words i get desperate urges to have him back and talk to him is that normal? I miss him so bad and i feel alone and empty
@Lee191
I am so sad to hear that and believe me,know how very painful this is for you. It doesn’t matter what people say as your heart is truly broken. The only thing I can say is to take one day at a time and whatever you do or don’t do, it’s fine. Be kind to yourself and remember we are all here for you.
Sending lots of hugs xxx
@Melly1
You are very welcome. It is awful and such a shock to be thrown into this new way of living, a life no one wants.
It is good to do what feels best for you at the time and not worry about living differently. As the days go by , somehow the pain in your heart eases a little. It never goes but you learn to adjust.
I have had a meltdown today as my utility room has flooded. All i did was look at the mess and cry. Then I got myself more upset as suddenly realised how much I miss and want my husband. I have cried for a good hour, felt cross that he isn’t here to help me. The feelings never go and the slightest thing can start them off again.
I have called a plummer now and feel a bit calmer.
Losing the person you love most in the world is so very hard.
Sending love xx
It is bless you my love hope you are okay x
@Lee191 . Thank you, yes I am feeling a little better now. It is silly of me but when I saw all of the water on the floor I just went to pieces and cried. The lady who comes to do my hair arrived and she took over, bless her. She sorted it out and made me a cup of tea. I feel a failure though as I can’t even sort out a simple problem without bursting into tears.
I so want my husband back, he has been gone for five months now. Some days are good and like today some are not. I am going to try and be a bit more stronger when it comes to issues round the house. As my hairdresser said, It’s fixable. She also said I expect too much of myself too quickly. Am now going to take the days one at a time again.
Sorry to babble on.
Sending love xx
Hello Melly. Im sorry and send you love and a hug. My mums funeral was last thursday and the verocity of sadness since then has taken me by surprise. I can empathise with how you are feeling… i too am crying alot more than before and just dont know what to do with myself. I feel for me the funeral has brought back initial feelings of grief but even stronger. I wasnt ready for it its a very confusing time x
I thought that I was abnormal as I felt so much worse after my husband’s thingy, apparently this is what I called his funeral! Things go wrong in the house and I really don’t know what to do half of the time as he was the practical one. I actually managed to do a bit of gardening today as the weather was nice but ended up shouting at him because he hadn’t cleared the pots of last year’s tomato roots! I know he’s not there but I still converse with him and these last few days have been a lot harder probably, because as others have said, people seem to abandon us after the thingy. The only way I am able to deal with this now is to take each day at a time. I still talk to him, well I send him texts when I start feeling overwhelmed, and sometimes it helps.
@Guineapig65 I send my husband texts too. Sent him one today. How I wish he would answer. I have to send them on Watsapp as I had to stop his contract. Every time I go to write him a message I see “last seen on Jan 9th”, that was when the contract ended. I am waiting and hoping that maybe one day that date might change to the present day, strange things do happen.
Sending hugs xx
Dont be silly its your grief coming out never apologise… my husband died suddenly 8 weeks ago i resuscitated him and got him breathing but unfortunately he had a burst brain aneurysm so there was no brain activity this all happened in our room i can’t step foot in there now and my boiler is in there and water pressure must of dropped so ive had no hot water for 2 weeks so please dont feel a faliure sending you love 
xx
I sent my husband a few messages too his last activity date was 29th January 2023 id love him to reply xx
@Lee191 Thank you xx