I understand. My partner was diagnosed in April and passed the 2nd July. The shock is immense. It’s like having whiplash. We are strong at the time for them and then suddenly they are gone; it’s unfathomable. I’ve been back at work the last week and in a way it’s good to be busy. I’m blocking a lot of it out now to cope but little by little, day by day I will deal with it the best I can. Life will go on around us and hopefully one day we will be able to join in properly. Sending you love and strength.
Hi RosieJack. Sorry for your loss. Once they are gone It is more than difficult to come to terms with. Although Cancer does give us some warning it doesn’t prepare us for facing life without our soulmates. I lost my husband on 15th June. Last night was the first time I came home in the dark to an empty house. Only 9.30pm after choir practice but so lonely after an uplifting choir practice watching all the others going home to their families. As you say you should try new things when you feel ready. Following some advise from one of the members I started writing a journal. It really helps me. Each day I write down how I feel, what I am doing and what I miss doing or talking about with my husband. It feels like I am shedding some of my sorrows onto paper. I don’t tell my friends and family everything because I don’t want to upset them. I say I’m doing OK thanks. I try to go out every day even if its just to the supermarket because being alone in the house is far too silent and upsetting for me. It helps to get some fresh air and exercise. Eating and sleeping has been erratic. Sometime I feel nocturnal . Again fresh air and exercise helps to give me an appetite and sleep better. You know she wanted you to carry on with your life. Good Luck returning to work. I hope its not as bad as you fear it will be.
Thanks Rosiejack. I try to have good days but I don’t feel whole anymore. Part of me is missing. The only comfort I have is knowing my husband would not have wanted to carry on without the strength and mobility to do things for himself and be practically bedridden. I sometimes think I cry for myself rather than for him. Maybe I am wallowing in self pity. I need to have a stern word with myself. Or maybe I cry for what might have been. Some wishful thinking. We had 42 years together. A lot longer than some. We should set ourselves a goal and try to do something that we know would have made our other halves proud of us. Sending you cyber hugs. Stay strong.
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