Hi. I wish I could believe in the afterlife. I have had a really bad day, Thought I was beginning to cope a little better after almost 12 weeks. Total melt down today. Spent the whole day sobbing. My husband of 42 years passed away on 15th June and I miss him so much. If I could feel his presence by a small signal it would help me so much to know he was still with me in spirit. I am not a believer so it wont happen. I truly wish I could believe. It must be such a comfort to those who do.
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Why not explore it? Maybe join an Alpha course, you just need to listen and at the end of the course you can take away whatever you feel. I’ve always had my faith, I wouldn’t force it on anyone but it may help? For me, I cannot imagine death being the end.
She she, that immeasurable love is a force that stays with us. And to me it’s an unbreakable bond between us and our deceased husbands. I had a terrible day yesterday and I’m on week 15, but I talk to him every day and things have happened around our home that give me hope that his spirit knows I’m grieving for him. Stay connected, your pain and love are a bond that can’t be broken.
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@SheShe I understand what you mean by wishing you could believe, for the comfort it must bring. This is the third week since my partner died, it was sudden and unexpected and I’m lost without him. I keep wishing for a sign that he’s with me, even just a feeling, but there’s nothing, nothing at all. I don’t have religious beliefs but I’ve always thought there has to be something. Like how can a person be here, and then not here. Not their physical body, but their spirit or their soul or whatever it is that makes that person who they are. But then if there is a soul, why is there nothing to show me he’s here?
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Why dont you start by writing to him. Since my husbands funeral i have written in a book everything that i wish i could tell him. Anything from i wish you were here or something that the kids did that i found funny. It gives me comfort and feels like we still have a relationship. I believe he is here and there is an afterlife which also helps but writing to him could be a start. X
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Thank you for all your replies. I like the idea of a journal. I will start writing to him. It helps to write my thoughts down which is why this bereavement community helps so much. Cyber hugs to everyone xx
I write a letter to my husband every day. Some of it grumbling that he buggered off without any warning! Most of it is telling him how much I love and miss him. It helps me. Xx
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Thank you Willow. Grief comes in waves . Just when I thought I was doing ok - here it comes again. I hope writing to him will help me get out of this very lonely, desperately sad low trough I find myself in. I need to dig myself out although it feels like I’m using a teaspoon when what i really need is an industrial digger. xx
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I’ve been to heaven. I committed suicide…like 6 years ago. My dad died on September 11th last year . It’s helped me a lot that ive been to heaven. I truly know were he is. He’s just chilling. He was bed bound with cancer. So sounds bad… but I’m glad he died . Didn’t want him bed bound :S and he knows what I was on about now lol. He’s in heaven. He must of thought ‘‘poor Lisa being brought back after experiencing this’’ lol , least I know I’ll truly see him again.
Night Zzzzz
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I write to my husband, then pause and address a reply to me from him with my pet name he called me, then I write it as I believe he would have. I have been amazed at the wisdom and love I have felt through this. I cry through it all, but it always calms me. I forge his signature at the end of the message!!
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Sorry for your loss Amary. Thank you for sharing how you find comfort through writing letters. It does help me to write about how I am feeling. I think I am coping and doing better and then the tears start again. I lost my husband on 15th June so its still early days for me. Keep the letters flowing. Its good to cry and even better to find some comfort. Cyber hugs xx
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I’m so sorry for your loss too. This is the hardest and most painful journey we could be on. I never thought grief could be so hard. How did your husband die? I guess he was a special man to be missed so much. I totally believe that he’s with you, closer than the air you breathe and he can see all your pain and suffering, but he can only feel absolute love for you as there’s no pain in heaven. He’s never away from you and is holding you all the time. He knows that you’ll be with him again when your body dies, but your spirit will be free to love completely. Stay strong and hopeful through all the tears.
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Thank you for your kind words. My husband died at home from cancer 2 weeks after his diagnosis. He had suffered from ill health for the last 5 years and I was his carer. He always soldiered on and we coped so the diagnosis was a shock. We didn’t go out so I am trying to re-establish some kind of social life. He was my world, my purpose so its extremely hard to be without him.
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I’m so sad for you to have lost so much at once. You must have a very kind, loving and helping nature to have looked after him for so long. I hope you can find a way to reconnect with the world in a meaningful way. I know that the world is crying out for loving people, but when you’re full of grief you have to love yourself and care for yourself. Give yourself little treats to remind yourself that you still matter and are a unique and amazing human being. You have gifts that many people would be very envious of. When you have been loved so much by one wonderful person and they’re no longer here, it can be hard to feel loved again. I pray that you will find a way to open up again and find a little bit of happiness for you. Blessings xxx
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You don’t have to believe in god to think there’s another spirit plane out there. I don’t believe in god but have felt my partner around me and have had white feathers floating by. Talk to them every day out loud as if they were there… because they are!
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I do believe in God. I talk to my husband all the time, a lot of it is grumbling. He didn’t believe in God or any afterlife, but I want to think he’s still around. I have some very bold robins in my garden, probably because we feed them. They have always been around, but just lately one has been flying up at the window as if it’s trying to attract my attention or get in. I was busy doing paperwork and heard a knock at the window, looked up to see it flying away.
Maybe I am just being fanciful. I hope not, it comforts me to think he is still around. Xx
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Hello SheShe,
I’m so very sorry for your loss. I also lost my John suddenly on June 15th this year as well. 5 days after he started cancer treatment. Belief in each of our individual spirits being unique entities is what sustains me. Our physical bodies return to the earth in one way shape or form, but that intangible, our spirit, our spark also needs to go somewhere. I’ve been lucky in that the people I have lost have come to me after their passing, all in dfferent ways, each involving different senses. Dad was through providing visions at times of need. Mom was through the natural world, Paul was through music and lights, John was through smell and taste. You never know how they will manifest, but inevitably they do. Being receptive yet not expecting it for me has been the key. Is it the same as the physical, tangible presence that we felt in life? Not at all (and gosh I miss the regular hugs). Knowing though that they’re our there in their new form of existence is comforting though. That they’re no longer envumbered by failing or aging bodies/minds and are now truly themselves.
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Thank you. I hope I receive a sign to say he’s still with me xx
Hi,
I know exactly how you feel,my wife of 55yrs died from cancer at the end of April this year,
The hurt,pain and anger is palpable,it’s like living in a bad dream,thankfully the brilliant people on this site can relate and give some comfort,I actually managed a couple of smiles and a laugh over the weekend and today thanks to the support and posts on here,it really is the old saying one step at a time.
I wish you well Ron.
That’s so lovely, i’m sure it was him just saying hello. I think the same things. I was having a meal with a friend and there was a white feather floating around outside the window and I’m hoping it was my partner making his presence known. Robins are adorable and I hope they bring you some comfort.