Hello dear fellow grievers
My gorgeous man died 22 months ago from cancer, leaving me, our son (now 4) and my son (now 14). I’d been on my own for seven years before I met him so meeting him and then having a new baby was a total blessing. He loved me so, and I loved him. We had only 5 years together and then he was taken.
I was devastated. The pain felt like I may die too it was so all encompassing. But I kept putting one foot in front of the other, had bereavement counselling, read grief books endlessly, kept working, moved house and continued being a mum as best I could. People said I was strong and said unhelpful things. Largely I was on my own (lockdowns). Some people astounded me by quietly loving me and always being there. I focussed on that love and it kept me going.
Slowly, slowly the pain eases and you glimmer hope again. You start to have good patches of a few weeks rather than just a minute or a day.
What I struggle with now is ‘aftershocks’ where you have a memory or feeling or experience that brings the loss right back to the fore and the pain returns.
These aftershocks take you under again and feel unending and cruel when you have been doing so ‘well’.
Anyone further down the line have advice or experience to share please?
And sending love to you all x
Lost my husband passed 13month ago don’t cry all day like I did but cry maybe once a day the grieve never goes away but you learn to cope with it I was married to my john 44years together 46 years but you have to take care of you sending hugs annie x x x
Thank you for your post lucky7, its posts like this that inspire me and give me hope that this dreadful sudden grief will ease off at some point.
Today is day 36 since rachel was taken away and everyday it’s getting worse. I’ve accepted what’s happened and do realise that I wont see Rachel again in this life but everyday is a struggle and my heart hurts and whole body aches for Rachel.
Thank you Annie.
Oh Lost2021. Day 36 is NOTHING. Your world has been blown to bits and you are sitting stunned in the wreckage. One breath in front of the other. The depth of the pain does ease.
Love and strength xx
Hi, I know exactly how you feel and the after shocks come and bite you and generally when it is least expected. I don’t have any answers and like you wonder if they ever will stop. Once again it’s the price we pay for knowing that special love, our soulmate. Sometimes I feel no one knows how I feel and when they say I am strong I just think you don’t see me when I am not. It’s a cruel hard life but there are those glimmers of hope and they stay longer and happen more often as time passes. Stay strong and thank you for posting and I hope 2022 have more and longer glimmers of hope. S xx
Thank you Susie123. Your support and validation and kind words mean such a lot. I hope 2022 brings more lightness than darkness for us all xxx
So very sorry it’s being 13 month for my husband married 44years he was my everything so please take care of yourself lv annie. X