Age and length of time

Reading thru the posts I realise that no matter what your age is or how long you were together the immense pain, loss and hopelessness is the same. I was with my hubby 24 years having talked to people who were together 2 years and others 60years I realised time is immaterial , I have found myself feeling for the people that didn’t have long together and envious of people that had a long time but one thing that is very apparent for my situation is that I am immensely grateful for the time I had with my lovely husband.

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I absolutely agree. Age,and time have nothing to do with the pain of grief. I was married a long time, but the pain is none the less awful. I feel so sorry for those who lose a child of whatever age. They feel cheated, and I can understand that.
You are grateful for the time you had with your husband. Oh yes, and that’s how I feel. We had many happy days and some sad ones, but at least we were together. Now there’s that big hole.
But I am going to hire a tipper truck and fill the hole with love and understanding. Like Christian in the ‘Slough of Despond’, I am going to take the hand of Help as he did, and pull myself out. Like Christian, (the hero in John Bunyan’s 'The Pilgrim’s Progress), I am on a journey. One of seeing things differently. Trying to be more kind and understanding and thus to give life a purpose again
Thanks again for your post.

Hi silverlady I agree with your post on all accounts in my case the loss of my wife Jane after 43 years is unbearable time went no where the 9 months since I lost her seems as long as the time together ,the loss of making decisions together living for one another loving and enjoying what time we spent together all gone in the twinkle of an eye .
Would I do it all again you bet I would loving and missing her so much it hurts so bad

Well said. Age, length of time or in fact the way we lose our loved ones makes no difference. It’s a trauma, a pain that is intense and that we have to learn to live with and get through the best way we can. It’s a lonely journey that only we can manage.
We had both been married before but always said we had got it right at last. I had thought that a happy marriage wasn’t going to come my way. I was wrong, so I am intensely grateful for the 30 years of happy marriage I had with my lovely man and must remember this when I feel sorry for myself.