I’ve posted before about my father who i am just now visiting as he dies from esophageal cancer. He seems to be taking a turn for the worse…he is really agitated, not sleeping and crying out for help to breathe (his breathing is actually fine but he has anxiety about it…this has been going on since his diagnosis). My mom is caring for him full time and despite her incredibly strong demeanor it is taking a toll on her now.
I know this kind of behaviour is a sign that he is getting close to the end. We have painkillers and medicine for him but they don’t seem to be working anymore.
I’m having a hard time seeing him like this and honestly I’m afraid it will haunt me forever (im 26, oldest of 3)…his delirious state and agitation. I’m doing my best to support mom and be with him when he is in a calmer state.
How have you all dealt with watching a loved one actively dying? Its not like in the movies where they drift off peacefully intp sleep…it is violent and loud and horrific and it so so hard.
Am i going to ever be okay after this ?