My son Adrian died Suddenly on the 14th of September last year. Three months later my son jonny died on the 5TH DECEMBER 2021. Both sons had been unwell and living with me. They were both in their forties. I am devastated and confused grieving for both of them. Is it even possible? I would be grateful for any response as I feel alone especially at night when I am at my worst. Thank you x
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@Jenna hi jenna I am so very sorry for your loss of your sons and for the heartbreak and pain you are going through. I lost my parents many years ago and lost my soulmate last year. Grief is so very hard on us and so painful and heartbreaking, but we have to keep going for our lost loved ones. You will find support here. Everyone here is understanding and we all try to help eachother as best as we can. I hope you have support around you. Keep posting on here, it does help to talk to people. Also sue ryder offer Grief counselling. Also I know it feels like you are alone but you are not alone here,this community does care. Take care my thoughts are with you sending hugs x
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Thank you both for your responses it is so kind. It is hard so very hard as they were friends as well as sons. I am sure that this site will help give me some peace xxx
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Oh Jenna I am so sorry. I lost my son last year and it is devastating . I can’t imagine what you are going through to lose 2 sons and so close. You are doing amazing just to put words together and post them here. I am glad you found this site as you read the posts others have put here you will find so much support and help. I have anyway and often come on the site late at night as others do as it’s difficult to sleep with all the distress we are dealing with. Look for the thread Loss of a child or Loss of our son 27 you will find lots of support there. As I said I think you are doing amazing , it’s a whole new awful world to get used to and I don’t know if we ever do. Take care jss
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@Jenna do you have support around you. Or any family members that can spend time with you. Also you will find people who are going through the same grief as you in losing a child category on here.
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JSS Thank you. I will take your advice. It is so sad as when Adrian died jonny did not want me to pick up his ashes until he felt up to it. Now I am in the sesame place. I have two lots of ashes - my two beautiful boys in little boxes. I think that if i go and pick them up I will finally break and this frightens me. Thank you all for being here jxx
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Oh Jenna don’t be afraid to break, it has to come out. I frequently have complete meltdowns often out of the blue, they literally floor me . I am lucky I have a sister who will drop everything if I need her and comes to me right away. I hope you have supportive friends and family , or someone who will be there for you. I Can imagine how distressing it would be for you to pick up the ashes, I am sure the funeral directors would be happy to bring them to you , it might be less traumatic, and at least you will have them home with you then, or is that too much yet? Just do everything when you feel ready, in your own time. Jss x
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Oh Jenna I am so sorry for your loss, you must be heartbroken. I lost my husband in Nov suddenly and yes the nights are the worse. I am sure jf you spoke to the funeral home they will bring your boys too you. They offered to bring Neil home for me but stupidly I went on my own for him. You may get some small comfort once your boys are home I know I did. Do not be afraid to break you have been through a very traumatic time. Sending much love to you 
xx
Thank you for responding
Yes I think long term I will ask them to bring ashes home. It all feels a bit unreal . I also send good wishes for you and am sorry for everything you have lost too. Xxj
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