Having read quite a few of your messages I realise more and more that grief is not a one size fit’s all situation .
I am 13 weeks in and time is not a healer, things don’t get easier . I am worse if anything rather then better.
The other thing is why are some people making excuses for their families not being as attentive as they should be . We all live busy lives now and would it be the end of the world if an extra curricular activity has to be missed for a little while?
We have no children but I am very close to my niece and her family. They dropped everything to be with me. I have my great niece and her husband living with me for most of the week to look after me and they feed me , make sure I get in the shower and wash my hair.
I have great friends and I have lots of hobbies.
These are all adults now but they never leave me .They are on the phone 24/7 but it is unbelievably hard. I cry most of the time, I don’t sleep well, my memory is mushy, I can’t put a sentence together. I have ME and I’m exhausted all the time .
Nothing will make it better or easier , I suppose at some stage you must get used to being without your other half, the person who makes you whole.
With all that I have my situation sucks and I want my old life back.
Your right, there’s not one way to deal with this terrible traumatic time. We have to ‘cope’ in the best way we can. If its crying, anger, being alone, surrounded by people, we have to manage it the best way we can.
Take care x
Fantazey, I am really sorry that things are so bad for you and even worse after 13 weeks. It will get better, just not yet. Very happy to know that your family and friends have surrounded you with love. Lovely.
It may be that those of us without such support have had to move forward at a faster pace as we are flying solo in this strange world. We aren’t really “better”, we’ve just adapted a bit each week because we had no choice. No time for taking to bed and sobbing all day as we would like, we have too many added responsibilities.
The feelings of grief are the same, we all just make our own path out of the fog. There is no right or wrong in this.
I am sorry that you are so sad. I know it hurts.
Much love and Merry Christmas.
Grief is very individual and we all deal with it differently and in our own way. Some people have a support network and others don’t but one thing we all have in common is we don’t have the support and love we want because our partners/husbands/wives are no longer here and we have to cope the best way we can
I’m with you Fantazey, I also want my life back the way it was. I want Luie here and I want us to do the things we enjoy and the things we planned to do
I think a lot of the grief is a feeling of being robbed of a future with the one we love, I’m also angry that he will miss out on so much, like seeing his granddaughter get married, seeing all the grandchildren growing up.
I talk to him aloud constantly, it helps me.
I have photos in every room, I’m even going to put one in the car. I believe he is with me always it’s just that I can’t see the happiness and joy on his face.
I feel it though.
Try to find your own way of coping, I also get a lot of support from family but I’ve insisted on some alone time so I can cry, rant or whatever I feel I need to do.
I’m new to this forum but everyone is so kind and understanding. I hope we can help you