I am so tired of people urging me to try different things or atm, work is organising a team building thing. I do not want to go. I have no desire to meet up with work colleagues. We are a team regardless of this. One of the days is just a meeting in an office which I can attend remotely, the second is two shooting activities (I do not want to shoot), and an escape room, with my current anxiety and claustrophobia since I was young I do not want to do that. I do not want to drive for 3-4 hours each way or stay overnight there. I cannot deal with a train journey as have to change twice and that freaks me out. I said I do not want to go, simple. Then everyone goes silent like I just insulted them all, I said we are all a team and get on regardless… They have not lost literally the two most important anchors in this world in the past year (My bestfriend in Apr and my most important person my mum in Sep) I do not even want to think about going anywhere or stressing over it. My depression and anxiety is so bad right now, I know my manager will be all well it is not until June, I am sure things will change etc etc. I just do not need this hassle. I am even trying to figure out another job I can do… I just have no drive and need time out but working does not give you time out. I am so close to just giving up on everything… Am I so bad for saying no? Am I not allowed to not go to things I don’t want to just because everyone else is and it is expected? We were not asked if we wanted to go it was just, these are the days, this is what is going on do you like? Sorry… I just want to do what I need to try to deal with everything that has happened. I don’t need people needing more from me like they have all my life… I always get swayed and stressed out like hell. Anyone else want to just be able to be assertive and I want to do my job I was employed for and nothing else.
Hello Lacertab
I’m sorry to hear how hard things are right now. I’m sure someone will be along to offer support, so I’m just giving your post a gentle bump 
Take care, Rhi
Hi,
As to be excluded from it. I am sure your manager will understand.
If no then go on sick leave.
Put yourself first from now on. You don’t need added hassle
Deborah