Alison00

My husband/ best friend/ support system died 5 weeks ago. I’m so damn lonely. I only exist in what was once a home, now just a roof over my head. I spend aloof time crying my eyes out, alone and desperate. I see no point to life. I wish I was dead.

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We all feel your pain Alison, we really do.
5 weeks is such a very short time. I am so sorry for your loss of your husband. I’m in the same desolate place.
You will get through it although you won’t feel like you will at times.
The heartbreak is paralysing, but all I do is take a day at a time, I honestly don’t look much further than that.
Take care and please keep writing your thoughts down on here.
People understand and are so supportive.
It helps me immensely, I’m sure you’ll find that too.
Janey xx

Alison i am sad to read about your loss and how you ae feeling
Please accept that what you are going through is very normal and all part of the grieving process
When my wife died over 25 years ago i went through it on my own!!
It took me many years to learn to live with it?

I also felt guilty fir wanting to laugh or smile , and often asked myself why it had to be my wife and not me?
I actually only began to love and feel good and loving about myself and less guilty

But i was only able to do this because i sought and received help from IAPTS which is?a mental health department within the NHS. They were empathetic and very supporting to me .

My heart is sad for you. I wish you some peace in your new lifes journey
Keith xx

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Thank you for your msg. In a way, I’m glad i didn’t die first as my husband had early onset vascular dementia. He would not have coped on his own. His brothers were useless so my husband would have had zero support. Thank God for my parents. They have seen me thru hell over the years

I wish you my best wishes and hope that over time your life begins to improve and emotionally you become stronger and happier

I understand what you say about family not having capacity to to support you
When my wife died i was able to cope with
most things because of my army service and becoming a house husband, due to a serious back injury. . If i can help you, ease message me on here or privately mr chipps the poet man

Hi Alison00,

I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your dear husband. 5 weeks is such a short amount of time to adapt to such a huge change, and it’s normal and natural that you’re spending so much time crying and questioning the point in life.

I’m glad that you’ve been able to talk about how you’re feeling here, and I can see that several of the members of this community have already commented with messages of support. There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.

    • Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.
    • Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text SHOUT to 85258 and talk to them about anything.
    • If you are at risk of harming yourself, please call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.

Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: www.sueryder.org/counselling.

You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.

You deserve care and support so please, Alison, get in touch with one of these services.

Take care,

Hazel

ALISON . You dont need to contact your doctor to be referred to NHS support services . For counselling or other talking therapies
As you are aware many people are unable yo get doctors appointments. Therefore they cant get referred for bereavement support

But if you ring your local NHS and ask to be put through to IAPTS , you will receive attention and advice. You will get a letter stating the agreed therapy and the start date etc

As a NHS governor its part of my responsibility to support patients and if need be stand up for them . I am also an ex Samaritan with counselling qualifications, (although its?been a while since I’ve counselled anyone)

Take care of yourself and if you need be cry and talk to your hubby, or anyone who you trust to help you do what you need to help you cope and feel better
Keith

Hi I’m sorry for your loss it’s four months for me, I’m still very sad and heartbroken but I just take a day at a time, at the beginning it was an hour at a time all I can say is be kind to yourself and if people offer help take it, cry when you need to, it’s the worse thing ever to happen and I send love and hugs to you xx

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