All I have left of my 23 year marriage is memories. It doesn’t feel fair. I miss Jim so very much and to think I will never see or hear him ever again is just to much to bare. I keep saying why did you leave me Jim I can’t cope everyday is a battle and I’m so so tired. Today I feel very alone having to cope with the weather and the challenges it has thrown up today.
just lit his candle and having a cry
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Hi
I know exactly how you feel, I can’t cope without Stephen it’s been 8 months since he passed away, I feel its getting worse, like you I feel alone I don’t have any friends close by & my family are down south.
I say it’s not fare aswell, I’ve kept all his stuff its still where he left it.
I do hope you & myself find the help we need to carry on
Take care & thinking of you
Di x
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I feel the same. Life is like treading in treacle. I miss my babe every day. I still can’t believe he has gone. I feel sad every day. Total sadness x
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Yes its horrible, my life isn’t the same without him.
Thinking of you
Di x
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Dear Misprint
I am only weeks off our 40th wedding anniversary and not sure that I can cope any longer. Friends tell me to think of the memories but I want/need more than memories, I want the impossible. My loving husband by my side and us continuing the plans to celebrate that we started discussing during the first lockdown. Its over 16 months since he left me as a result of a stupid motorbike accident. I always told him that I would never cope if anything were to happen to him and the reality is I am not.
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Hi it’s true memories don’t fill the massive void, I’m also coming up to our anniversary forty two years and it is getting worse after seven months , I’m feeling quite abandoned now and plodding on but what for ?
My sons are losing patience with me but it’s my house and if I want to mope around I feel I should be able to, hope the weekend goes quickly for everyone xx
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We want our children to be able to live their lives but they do not understand that we must grieve in our own way. Our son has just announced his wedding date and told me that I have to start ‘living’. I will give my best performance of being ‘ok’ when the event comes but I will never live again, just exist. Only just got out of bed and been crying most of that time. Our anniversaries were always such a time of joy and that’s all gone.
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Hi Misprint, I have all of the memories. The anniversary glassware, gifts from family and friends.
for our 55 years of marriage, but nothing to take the pace of my wonderful Jan. Its 5 years since she went, but I still miss her so. now and then I take it out o the cabinet to dust , holding each thing , and shed tears. Wishing she was there. I spend time looking through our photo albums, with the same effect. I wrote this for her.
A picture of you is a memory, a memory more precious than gold.
But neither a picture or memory can I take in my arms or can hold.
Your soft hand and sweet kiss to lift me, when weary by end of the day,
your love that i feel for me darling, keeps me safe when I’ far away.
The lakes ,the valleys, the mountains, the beauties our eyes would behold,
without you standing beside me, they all seem so empty and cold.
Thee love that keep i heart for you dear, no word or sentence can say.
the pain and heartache I feel since the day that you went away.
So pictures and memories I’ll keep love , with all of the tears that I weep,
tilll one again we’re together, then safe in my arms, you, I’ll keep.
Just rambles of someone without the love of my life.
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That is so beautiful and so eloquently put. I cried when I read it. We all walk this long lonely road. It is so painful. We all support each other knowing what we have in common. Take care. Sending hugs xx
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This is beautiful & very accurate to how, we all feel at our lose.
Thinking of you
Di x
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Beautiful made me cry 
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Thank you all for your lovely comments. Yes we are all grieving, grief and tears are the price we have to pay for loving someone so much. I will love my angel for as long as I live.
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I only lost my lovely wife a few short weeks ago after 10 years together. But this says so much of what I feel. Michelle used to so often say she was glad she was going first as I was the strong one yet she failed to see I was only strong because she was by my side. A day or night doesn’t go by without more tears falling. My life is so empty now without her. But the worse time by far is the night times that is when I miss her the most. We were both 56 when she went and I adored her.
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Dear Misprint,
It’s a sad truth that we are all walking this same path - but alone.
Many years ago I lost my mum and dad within 5 months of each other and my younger sister 3 years ago. Nothing, none of that, has prepared me for the loss of my husband just over 2 months ago ( we together 32 years and married for 25). Until someone has experienced this loss it’s not helpful to say you have your memories, or you have to carry on ‘living’.
Like you, I have felt overwhelmed by responsibilities which now fall entirely to me. I had sleepless nights worrying about a tree in the garden during the recent storms!
I have started to list the things I’d like to achieve in a week, and if it gets done I tick it off. If it doesn’t get done I just move it to another day. I feel as if it’s helping me not to feel too overwhelmed.
Yesterday, my birthday, was the Buildings insurance, today is the microwave repair. Tomorrow might be rearranging the holiday my husband had SO been looking forward to.
Shedding tears for everyone walking this lonely path.
Kath x
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Hi Katherine
Agree 100% that losing your husband is a totally different grief, I lost Stephen last July & I’m still struggling with life & planning ahead is something I can’t do right now, I take each day as it comes, some are better than others. Grieving is a personal thing & there’s no right or wrong way, we all do it differently.
Happy birthday for yesterday it was mine too & I spent most of the day alone 
Take care
Di x
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Hi Diane, Happy Birthday to you too for yesterday. I’m so sorry to hear that you spent the day alone.
Having said that I’m aware that the loneliness doesn’t go away even if you are surrounded by friends and family.
I returned to work last week after 3 months off and everyone was saying it would do me good to have something to focus on; it doesn’t work that way does it?
I’m finding that writing tasks down then ticking them off, or moving them to another day/ time allows me to feel more in control and I don’t feel quite so overwhelmed. As you say our grieving is so personal and I offer this as just something that seems to be helping me, although I have days when I can do nothing!
Take care and I will be thinking of you.
Kath x
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Hi Katherine
Yes even if people are around me I still feel alone, when I lost Stephen I felt like I’d lost a limb, we were never apart, he cared for me through my life saving heart surgery & then threw my cancer.
I’m also sad as I didn’t get to be with him when he died I got there too late. (Covid)
Your idea of doing a list is good & if it works for you then it’s good, no whatever we do the hurt is still there.
Thank you & thinking of you too
Di x
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Hi Kath I understand exactly what you are saying I lost my wife on 29/12/2021 and I know nothing will ever be the same again. Every day I get up with the best o intentions and most days fall short of my target. We only had 10 years together but it really does rip the very heart out of you. To lose a partner takes the sense of loss to a whole new level that is very hard to understand. John
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