Almost 1 year

Wow it’s been a tough year,father’s Day has been and gone the first one without him and I went to bits for days and now his 1 year anniversary looms.
I don’t quite know how I feel at the moment,there is so many emotions I feel like I’m on a roller coaster,I’m angry a lot at everyone,I’m upset with myself I never got to see him properly with covid,it’s hit me lately that he ain’t coming back and that’s took a long time to come to terms with.
I want him back but I know it can’t happen and I miss him so much,when will all this stop hurting???