Almost one year!

It’s now 48 weeks since my son died and the daily battle of life continues. I read a lot of the posts on here from people who have lost their partners and you know everyone’s loss is relative to their situation. I always dreamt of finding that special love that exists between some couples but I never have. So while I know your pain is awful I envy the love you all shared. And in my situation I’m sure those who have lost their only child would envy me having one surviving child. Our way of coping was to throw ourselves into a big fundraiser for charities close to us in my son’s memory. So far we have raised £19,000 which shows how special my son was and the impression he left on people. My daughter has worked tirelessly on it and I know now my good bit of luck in life was that I got to be mum to two very special young people. Love to all xx


And I would say that those two very special young people were very lucky to have you as their mum. Dear Orchard, I am so sorry for your loss of your son. What a wonderful thing you and your daughter have done by raising so much money for charity. What a wonderful memorial for your beloved son. Our grief, our pain is so very different, be it a parent, a child, a spouse/partner. The loss is different but the pain? Oh my goodness, the pain! Can the pain be so very different? I am one of those people you refer to, one of those who has experienced the love you mention and yes I am grateful for that. I’m sorry you haven’t found that certain someone but on the other hand I envy your relationship with your daughter. My daughter hasn’t spoken to us for years. She came back into my life briefly after my husband/her father died but she’s gone again. I think we all have something to be grateful for but one never knows what the next person is suffering. I don’t worry too much about my daughter as I know she is alive and well and whilst my grief is still so strong I’ll settle for that. Hopefully one day she will return. I should mention that I also have a wonderful son and he is an absolute treasure. Sending love xx

Thank you Kate for a beautiful reply so eloquently expressed. I’m sorry for the loss of your husband and yes you are right the pain of loss is awful for all who feel it. You must miss your daughter so much, an extra burden for you to carry. We all have to keep going, somehow, someway don’t we. I ask my son regularly to stay close and help me and I think he does. I tell myself that the bond we shared in life can not be broken by death. Take good care xx

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I agree with that .It’s almost 4 years since Nick died at 17 and I talk to him every day .I sometimes wonder if I’ll still feel as close to him as I do now in say 20 years from now . I hope so . I don’t see him , but he’s with me .

Hi paulsm. Of course he is. Love can never die, it’s a constant that is never ever lost. 20 years or a 100 years makes no difference whatsoever. True love is timeless. We associate so much with our bodies. We see others as bodies, but as I said in my previous post, there is ‘the ghost in the machine’. It’s a driving force that is truly us. When we pass on, the body, the vehicle we used in life, is no longer active because the Spirit, the driving force has left. But the essence of that person never dies. OK, I appreciate that not everyone goes along with that, but I do and at times feel it so strongly. The big stumbling block to any such belief is ‘yes, but why’?
I have no idea as to why all this pain happens, but I am prepared to accept that there is a lot more to it than just living. Love never ever dies if it’s sincere and true. One day, or so I believe, we will know and may be surprised. In the meantime we have to ‘soldier on’ as best we can. This is all beyond religious thinking. Blessings.

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Hi thanks , I believe the same , and have for many years so although it’s comforting it’s not a belief purely born out of need .

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