Hello - so sad but so familiar to hear your story. My husband died last October, but the grief feels like yesterday. I too have no children and do have good friends who come and go. But at the end of the day I have to face the loneliness which at times feels unbearable. I don’t have a mobile yet so no text facility but have email. I feel as if I’ve been transported to a parallel universe which is so different to the one I inhabited a year ago. I find small ways of coping, but am struggling - so you are not alone. Thinking of you x
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I know the feeling after loosing a close relative as I lost my mum on the 3rd March 2020 after she suffered from a massive stroke and never regained consciousness. She was in hospital for 4 days but luckily enough I was nearby when she passed away. Even though she passed away over 3 years ago I still miss her terribly and I put some more flowers on her grave last Saturday.
I am single and live by myself and it still hasn’t got any better at all.
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So sad Steve you really miss her
I hope you will stay with this forum where we can be supportive of you.
Take care and love and hugs
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Thank you very much for your kind message, yes I will be staying on the forum. It has been such a help in the past and I really appreciate everything that is done with.
I do still miss my mum and it is a pity that she is no longer with me. I could of done talking to her regarding the osteoarthritis in my left shoulder which is extremely painful and I am now taking 5 different painkillers which 3 of them are morphine based. 
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Hi Steve - have you tried any natural products for your shoulder to help reduce painkillers. Lots out there and helped me reduce osteo back pain. Best wishes to you.
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Evening I have tried so many different painkillers and some of them were natural and they done nothing for me.
I first had severe frozen shoulder in my left shoulder about 3 years ago. Had surgery but that seemed to work until 5 nights after I had a colonoscopy examination done under a general anaesthetic. I ended up calling 999 they gave me loads of Entenox and contact my doctors surgery 1st thing in the morning. Which I done online they got back to me very quickly and told go straight to A&E which I did by taxi. Seen very quick x-rays done and got told it was osteoarthritis in my left shoulder. Had further surgery at the beginning of this year and just got worse and worse all the time since.
They tried to do another MRI scan on the 25th June, only in the machine a couple of minutes and had to get taken out. Not sure if they got enough imagines. Ended up in A&E and now on another 2 more painkillers so 5 in total. Still in extreme pain though and got to see the consultant yet again on 4th August.
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Oh poor you! Horribly depressing to be in so much pain all the time. I was beside myself with pain after my husband died as the stress and extra work and lifting caused multiple spinal fractures, but along with strong painkillers I took a joint and bone supplement changed my diet and saw an osteopath and do daily prescribed exercises These work more slowly than medication taking about 6 months, however, I now take much less painkillers - it’s not easy dealing with the mental pain of grief and physical pain. Do hope things ease in time for you.
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Constant pain is debilitating, they say ginger and tumeric with curcumin are good anti inflammatory remedies but I think specific exercises may help over time as well. My mum had osteoarthritis and rheumatoid arthritis. It was hard watching her in some form of constant pain. Magnesium may be something to think about and they aren’t expensive. Hope the hospital can help you.
Thank you very much for your kind message I really appreciate it.
I am hoping that when I return next month that I will see the actual consultant NOT his colleague as when he was examining me I ended up with tears flowing down my face and screaming my head off.
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I know your feelings it’s terrible take care
I lost my wife married 34 years she was 49 it’s terrible I cry every day it’s a nightmare live now hate it so much 
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In 2 days it will be 1 year exactly since I lost my wife. Like you, I was her career for nearly 7 years, but I had no one to help until the final couple of months when a nurse came in twice a week. For so long at the end it seemed I was just watching her run away like water through a basket. It broke my heart. It still does. I have no idea how to get through the days and endless months of being alone. I have family and no friends (they all disappeared the day Eve died). I have a cat. “Smile”, I so wish I could offer you words of wisdom or comfort. I am sure it gets easier for some people, but it hasn’t for me. I so hope it will for you. I light a candle every day. It doesn’t help, but the truth is, nothing does. I send you hugs and thoughts and hope you find the strength to get through it.
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Yeh its funny how everybody runs away . Some people have tried to understand but some really haven’t and its pathetic i think !! Just keep looking after your own well being - thats all we can do xxx
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Hi Ostick, I so so sorry for your loss.
It is almost 17 month for me now since my brother died in February 2022. - Not much has changed for me during the first year, just ups and downs all the time. It even got slightly worse during month 13 and 14. I am still in phase 4 (depression) but I am off my medication now. It is not easy to see any changes over a short period, but when I look at the 17 month, I have to say that I feel much better now.
I have to admit, I still have one good neighbour and friend. She helps me a lot. The neighbour at my brothers house is also supportive. She has helped me cutting back some unwanted plants. I also go to the park and spoil the dogs with treats. It is important to be with others, even if it is only for half an hour a day.
Take care, I am sure it will get better. I too have a cat. Her name is Tammy. - Nick
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Everyone in this group understands what you are going through, as sadly, we are all on the same journey. A journey we didn’t want or ask for. Eight years is a long time to care for someone but there is a life out there for you. I was married to my lovely man for nearly 50 years but I realise that he wouldn’t want me to be sad or lonely. I have joined some clubs, and go out walking with the Ramblers and other groups. It can be difficult to get out there but it is well worth the effort and eventually, life will be kinder to you. I am lucky that I have now found another very kind, gentle and caring man who is also by himself, so we can share trips out and lunches. Life is going to be hard and tough but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I will never forget or stop loving my lovely man but I do realise that I need and deserve a new life, wherever that life takes me.
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Aw … thats really nice for you … my heart is still too full of my husband and so i cant move on yet. I no idea what my future will bring but then neither do any of us do we ? Xx
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We never move on, we just make the space around our grief wider. I am sure you have much to offer the world and your lovely man would want you to be happy. It will be tough but you will survive and things will get better, it just takes a while, a lot of heartache, tears and grief. I am trying to reframe my grief and turn it into love for my lovely man. I was lucky to have nearly 50 years with him so am very grateful for that.
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That sounds a great way to progress and would love if that happened to me as am so lonely. However, to add to my grief I developed osteoporosis - spinal fractures - whilst caring for my husband which is painful, so not up to much outings. Can I ask what age you are? Hope life continues to be good for you - love your positivity! X
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Aw yeh i know what you mean 
well im not there yet … but kind words xxx
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Really miss my gorgeous fantastic wife sue.in a lot of pain and struggling with it .now found out i,ve got a degenerative spine on top of everything else.really miss hugs and cuddles from sue more than ever.
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