Alone not lonely

To all out there who are alone without wives,husband’s and partners and no family I send best wishes for the season and 2020 .
For me 14 months and two Christmas’s seems a lifetime without my wife Jane after 43 years of marriage.
Again regards MM69


I wish you the same and hope you find some peaceful moments of memories over the holiday season.


To Metalmickey,
Thank you for your kind and generous wishes.I’ve read your posts before and know that you only have your little dog for company. Where would we be without them ? Nearly two years after losing my partner mine is the only reason for going on. I took him for a walk yesterday but he’s feeling his age and the cold
( he’s a lurcher I forgot to put his coat on)
I hope you have some good.memories of Christmasses with your lovely wife to help you get through the day.
Wishing you well , Sadme x

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About the same time for me it feels like forever and yet only yesterday. Thanks for your kind wishes Pam especially dreading the new year.

2 years for me too without my husband of 42 years, 3rd Christmas without him :disappointed:


So sorry this time of year stirs it all up doesn’t it. Sending you a virtual hug.

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I honestly feel like a leper since my dad died. I honestly feel I have died instead of him, I feel alone and lonely. No one has visited, called or messaged me and quite frankly I’m struggling. I just wanted to pop on here to test my theory that I’m very much still on earth as right now I am floating through life in an invisible cloak

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You are not a “Leper” Gayle. But I understand the feeling, Yes you are here, perhaps only “existing” for now, but nevertheless present. I am not the same person since losing my beloved Sister. I also lost my Dad when I was quite young, then Mom died in 2012. My Sister and I lifted each other through our losses. We knew we’d get through it because we had each other, Now she is gone too, Like you, I feel I died with her, on that tragic night the cancer took her life. I have never known such loneliness.
It is easy to feel invisible and on the periphery of life. I am so sorry no one has reached out to you. I find support becomes less as time goes by. People do not understand that grief does not end after 6 months, a year, or in any set amount of time, We are always in need of a kind word, or a caring gesture, You will find that here, You will be heard. Be gentle & patient with yourself.
May we both find peace. XxxSister2

Hi Gayle, it seems to be a fact of life that those of us that are left can become invisible to the outside world. I’m fortunate to have members of my family that are lovely and caring and I do meet up with plenty of people that don’t avoid me and I value their company, but my own daughter has not contacted me or any of her family over Christmas. Although when struggling financially earlier this year I sent her money that she requested. So I do have my uses!!! All of my husband family have totally forgotten me and no contact since funeral although I have tried to make contact through phone, e-mails and letters but never a reply and I thought we was close. Old friends have not sent Christmas cards this year, One neighbour will not speak to me and turns away, I am tempted to tell him that I haven’t got anything catching. You are so right though we become the invisible ones to the people we least expect to treat us like this. So I forget these thoughtless people and concentrate on the supportive ones. However on this forum we all understand and you certainly are not invisible here. So step out from behind that invisible cloak.

What a lovely post it is true those who don’t want to know are best ignored. I have felt lots better since joining.

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Sister2. I really felt the part where you said " I find support becomes less as time goes by". That’s exactly it!. I suspect most of my family just thought they did their bit by attending my dad’s funeral, crassly ate the free light lunch and then carried on with their lives. It’s really my friends that I am surprised at.

My friend found out online, during the summer, that her estranged dad had passed and a comment she said sticks with me “it’s easier for you as you were close to your dad”. How is my grief easier?..I really couldn’t fathom it out. My dad died this August; we spoke every day. He was an active part of my life Since his passing my son has settled into a new job and it’s quickly hitting me that our lives continue and my dad is quickly becoming a memory rather than being an active part in my life and that realisation is extremely painful.
Thank you sister2 for understanding the mindset that I’m in x

Thank you once again Pattidot. I always feel a bit more positive with your responses. I have my mum and my son. That’s all! My very small circle of friends is depleted. They turned their back on me and it hurts as I have questioned by friendship with them now and realise it was never genuine. Still makes me laugh on the lead up to my dad’s funeral when my son was told by a family member that their were 55 members in the family to support us hahaha you would never know.

“Easier for you” How tactless! One cannot compare their grief to another. If only people would stop and think before they speak. Like you and the rest of us here, I have been met with the most hurtful comments. Sometimes it came from people I would expect no better from. But when it was someone I considered a friend, it wounded that much more.
I am sorry you lost friends, or found they were not genuine to begin with. I can relate. I am glad you have your mum and your son. I have one other sibling, but I might as well be alone.
My younger sister, like your Dad, was also an active, every day part of my life. I too, do not want her to be relegated to just a memory. I need so much more than that. I need “Her.” :broken_heart:
Take care Gayle,