I am so lonely now no more laughs or cuddles since I lost my wife of 40 years.
hello @pmbetter - I am so sorry your beloved wife has died - this is really hard for you. In posting here, you have found a whole community of people who, like you, have lost someone so very, very dear to them. Many of us have lost life-partners, soul-mates and best friends. This is a big loss, a huge gap in our lives. You are not alone, you have all of us here to walk alongside you. We are with you, my friend.
Thank you for your kind words because I am finding it more and more difficult as time passes.
@pmbetter - I know, I really do. Most days are better for me but there are still times when I think “is this it, now?” Am I going to be alone, like this, always? When those days come, I try to think what my husband would have said, or would be doing and his positive, pragmatic outlook helps me to shape my response in that moment. It is not easy, it is not straightforward but love never leaves us completely, my friend. I know this to be true and that one day, my husband and I will reunite. Until that time, I just take my time, do my best and try and live as he would have wanted me too. The hard, sharp edges of these days will gradually become smoother, my friend. Hold on, you are doing much better than you may think you are. The days are getting longer and warmer, bit by bit. There are brighter times ahead just waiting for you. Keep walking towards them, and in doing so, you are walking towards your wife, and all the love you share. x
Hi @pmbetter I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my partner in January to cancer after 3 years of caring for her and there’s a big hole in my life where she once was. Like you I miss the hugs and her smile, but you are not alone here. We’re here because we’ve lost someone and there is a lot of support and advice to be found. Be kind to yourself. We’re here for you and if you have questions or need anything just ask.
I am so sorry you lost your wife. I lost my husband 9 days ago. I have never felt anything like this before, it’s a physical pain. There are really nice people on here to listen and give support. I miss the simple things like holding my Lee’s hand, giving him a kiss when he left for work and him giving me a loving hug. I keep going to tell him something, only to realise I can’t. Just take one day at a time. Lots of love. X
Hiya Nily, you are a remarkable woman you only lost your husband 9 days ago and you are offering me your support when I should be giving you my support, yes things did get easier for a start but now have got worse so where I go from here I don’t know, keep in touch for help from me. Love. x
Hi. I think we have to just go with each day. From my experience over the past 4 weeks, one day can be full of anger and searching the internet for medical terms and someone to blame. Other days are full of sadness for a future that won’t be. All days are full of emotional exhaustion and tears. It feels like a raging sea of waves. I miss my partner so much and like others, we planned a future. She always said *We have the rest of our lives together “ whenever health prevented us doing things, but it turned out we didn’t.
I’ve always tried to be a happy positive person, but this has reduced me to a person I don’t recognise. I long for life to be over. Sorry this should be uplifting but after very little sleep and the day ahead just to choose funeral flowers, once again I hope someone can uplift me please.
@Tiffany - my dear, I am so sorry - to lose a partner is one of the hardest things we endure. I know. I am right here, with you. I have walked where you are walking, losing myself, overwhelmed with grief, overwhelmed with admin, with choices, with sorting things out, with breathing. It all hurts, it is all a struggle. But. Over this last 15 months, since Tom died, things have got easier. Slowly. Piecemeal. Steps forward. Steps sideways but not steps back. Always progression to safer ground. I say this because it is true and there is reason to hope, even in the dark place where you are right now. Sleep disappeared for me too, but it is better again - finally going through the night as I used to when Tom was here. Today is another step, choosing the flowers is a big thing. I chose white, green and blue - to symbolise the mountains where we spent time together and where I am as I write this. Seeing them at the funeral was a boost, oddly. What I am trying to express, my friend, is that things will ease, will be easier to bear. Your love for your partner will never mean any less than it does now, and hers for your will also remain for I believe Love triumphs over death and that we will reunite with all those we love in time. It is just that grief mellows as we learn to walk forward without our loved ones in view, but with them in our hearts. So take heart, take a breath, have a coffee, talk to her, tell her your thoughts for the flowers, maybe. It will be ok, it will be ok, I promise. We are with you. x
Thank you for your kind words they mean so much. I love my family, but no one other than my mum has lost their partner, and unfortunately she has dementia, so I can’t really talk to her. I am here if you need to talk. X