I wrote a few weeks ago about being on my own through bereavements ( both parents had me late and have both gone now, dad 2.5 years ago and was the last local family member so it’s hitting me hard ) divorce, and estrangement from my daughter ( only adult child ) which has broken me.
I have GOT to change something!!! I’ve not been out for over 3 weeks!! I’m isolating myself and getting so utterly depressed and lonely!
I only have cousins left now and we are in touch but really only for sending xmas cards and the occasional letter / email and phone call. They’re all miles away. I’ve just added one on FB so we can at least now message.
They are all SO busy, with more fulfilled lives, married, working, travelling, 2 have grandkids and are looking after them. Having lovely days, fun, and laughter. Days out and coffee with friends. Helping each other, and doing difficult times together.
They’ve written today and sent a xmas card. I got half way through and just started crying!
All lovely happy news, I see it with alot - they lose ppl but there’s happy times still to be had, a brother or sister who looks in, grandkids, days out, their adult kids are in their lives, or a partner, a reason to carry on…preps for Christmas etc.
What do I write in my letter?! The last few have been sad as I’ve had a very difficult last 10 years. I can’t " pretend " everything is rosy can I?!!
I was in a relationship until July too - 5 years of on and off but very happy times too, so that’s another massive void! We are still good friends and are in touch alot but it’s not the same of course. I miss the fun, laughter, affection, love, support, days out, ear to listen, and trips away. I think this is what has sent me downhill.
So many ppl want to see me happy but I can’t just magic it can I…!!! Lol.
I’m " broken " and alot of ppl don’t want " broken ". I’m not an outgoing person and I suffer from depression and anxiety.
I’ve seen that ppl just don’t " know what to say anymore " as I’m still sad / grieving / low / haven’t found " happiness " but these things can take many years to get over…
Ppl don’t want to keep hearing the sad do they…
All I know is its a very lonely place to be at aged 51
I am hopefully starting a new job this week - with an agency so I’m hoping that will push me out / give me a new focus and bring me a happier ( kids ) environment - just abit anxious as something I’ve not been in for a long time.
I am in touch with friends and try to meet up but it’s not happening much or they can’t / I don’t push it. I’ve lost a lot.
Sending sympathies! It’s hard being alone when most others have families and their own lives. I have very few people around me and I always feel like I’m imposing on them. I hope the new job works out for you, it will be a break from the usual and perhaps a new start as well!
Yes it is lonely.
I feel weary[quote=“Phoenix36, post:1, topic:78209, full:true”]
Hi All,
I wrote a few weeks ago about being on my own through bereavements ( both parents had me late and have both gone now, dad 2.5 years ago and was the last local family member so it’s hitting me hard ) divorce, and estrangement from my daughter ( only adult child ) which has broken me.
I have GOT to change something!!! I’ve not been out for over 3 weeks!! I’m isolating myself and getting so utterly depressed and lonely!
I only have cousins left now and we are in touch but really only for sending xmas cards and the occasional letter / email and phone call. They’re all miles away. I’ve just added one on FB so we can at least now message.
They are all SO busy, with more fulfilled lives, married, working, travelling, 2 have grandkids and are looking after them. Having lovely days, fun, and laughter. Days out and coffee with friends. Helping each other, and doing difficult times together.
They’ve written today and sent a xmas card. I got half way through and just started crying!
All lovely happy news, I see it with alot - they lose ppl but there’s happy times still to be had, a brother or sister who looks in, grandkids, days out, their adult kids are in their lives, or a partner, a reason to carry on…preps for Christmas etc.
What do I write in my letter?! The last few have been sad as I’ve had a very difficult last 10 years. I can’t " pretend " everything is rosy can I?!!
I was in a relationship until July too - 5 years of on and off but very happy times too, so that’s another massive void! We are still good friends and are in touch alot but it’s not the same of course. I miss the fun, laughter, affection, love, support, days out, ear to listen, and trips away. I think this is what has sent me downhill.
So many ppl want to see me happy but I can’t just magic it can I…!!! Lol.
I’m " broken " and alot of ppl don’t want " broken ". I’m not an outgoing person and I suffer from depression and anxiety.
I’ve seen that ppl just don’t " know what to say anymore " as I’m still sad / grieving / low / haven’t found " happiness " but these things can take many years to get over…
Ppl don’t want to keep hearing the sad do they…
All I know is its a very lonely place to be at aged 51
I am hopefully starting a new job this week - with an agency so I’m hoping that will push me out / give me a new focus and bring me a happier ( kids ) environment - just abit anxious as something I’ve not been in for a long time.
I am in touch with friends and try to meet up but it’s not happening much or they can’t / I don’t push it. I’ve lost a lot.
Thinking of you. I’m looking to get in touch with an organisation here. Should have done before now. Always too proud / ashamed / embarassed / anxious to ask! They do so many things including voluntary work.
Yes they do that’s something to think about for sure.
Yes all the added disappointments on top of what’s gone on.
Well today was a mixture for me.
Make pancakes to be kind to my grandsons stayed overnight. They thought yummy.
Lot of effort but better than last time they hated offerings. Other thing was preparing homemade craft activity for them eg copying how to do decorated name. But rest of my attempts didn’t go brilliantly. I enjoyed the din er and two of three children.
I messed up the meat. But I was feeling under the weather
But we got to the Xmas tree fest and liked seeing my little tiny grandson join in Morris dancing. Cheered me up just reminding me when my kids were that age.
Still lonely now back at home alone again.
Spose got to find something to be grateful for.
I got my step counter repaired
And just walking round doing chores I had racked up more.
Been reading about what I have been feeling is what happens but doesn’t make any easier does it? These emotions that swell up like huge waves
I’ve opened up a group for us to contact people locally with the same issues and going through the same pain. It’s under the category ‘coping with bereavement’ and is called ‘Where are we from’
Hopefully those that are feeling lonely can find somebody local to talk to who has the same feelings and it may help.
They do so many things including voluntary work.