It’s a year ago that my husband went into hospital. They tried to repair the damage caused by the antibiotic that really should not have been given but it was too late. It took nearly two months. His poor body couldn’t take it anymore. Now my whole being cannot take it anymore. I force myself daily to get up. I force myself daily to walk my dog. I force myself to stay alive. The claim for his asbestos related terminal cancer is still ongoing. I’m still waiting for everything to be cleared from his will, in spite of me being the only person who receives everything , not a complicated will but sadly an incompetent person dealing with it originally. I rarely see or speak to anyone other than medical professionals or solicitors. After nearly a year and “friends” have moved on. One person who promised to never let me be alone has told me they can’t cope any more, and she and her husband are now retired and doing all the stuff my Paul and I never got to do because he was too unwell. I’m glad they are able to do the stuff we never could, but I’d rather they didn’t keep telling me. They do still come but I’m not sure they really want to.
Hi Nina.
I know what you’re going through,four months after my wife passed friends have gone radio silent,most family members are just getting on with their lives,that just leaves us,this morning I sat by wife’s grave for an hour and had a long chat(well I talked she hopefully listened) I found it strangely calming afterwards,maybe there is more after all.
Sending love and peace Ron.
Hi Nina, so sad to hear your story. I also get the same feelings. You know your true friends are when something like this happens. You must try as hard as you can to continue life. As i told my grown up children we will have peaks and troughs and they will hopefully become less intense and start to level out. Before my wife passed away she told me that we must continue to live our lives. I know that some days you just dont want to deal with things but its whats keeping me going. My children suggested getting a dog for company so I’m adopting a rescue dog from Cyprus. A big hug to you.
My heart goes out to you. My husband only died in April and I am dealing with his estate. It’s draining and time consuming. I am the sole beneficiary but there’s so much paperwork. I work 4 days a week and went bayon a phased return at beginning of June. I wonder if I should go off sick again but soon I would be on half pay which I can’t afford.
I spoke with some close friends today but it was hard. They all have positive things going on. Like your friends…it’s hard to hear when you feel only loss. My husband was ill for many years but we always tried to see the positive side of things. Without him I feel utterly alone and that I am adrift at sea. He was my rock.
Nina keep sharing as at least people here can relate.
I had never been alone before!! 61 years of caring for people. Being the strong practical one. I don’t even know who I am anymore. He was my friend, my partner, the father of my children, my companian. He has been gone since the 16th of July. I have experienced grief before, this is something else. Alone and lost, then so sad and bewildered. I have cried and sobbed writing these few lines. My adult children don’t see the sad me, I don’t even think they see me.
It is so soon for you. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and take an hour at a time for now. We all know your pain and we are here to listen and offer what support we can.
Love and hugs. Xx