Always here for you ....

When friends say “ I’m always here for you “ what does it actually mean “
Does it mean call in for a cuppa
Does it means ring me if ya feeling down ( coz that’s everyday )
Does it mean if ya want to go out get in touch
Does it mean let’s meet up anytime .
Coz all the people who say this have families of their own ,lives of their own so all they can do is be there it doesn’t mean really mean any of the about coz they are all busy busy busy do what I was doing when my Rob was here and that was living the dream .

@Kazzer wish I could answer that one. I am very independent usually, but have messaged what I previously thought were friends on a what’s app group thing and not had any reply whatsoever. A few days later one of them may put a comment on about something completely different. I have the same on this site sometimes. I know there are a lot using it but sometimes our comments and rantings just get ignored or lost in the feed. My old neighbours sometimes hide when I go to our old house which is being sold. If it suits them they will have a quick chat, but often they hide. Even my kids sometimes don’t respond at all to my messages. Starting to think it is me, so have on the whole stopped reaching out to people for my own needs. It is a very lonely life.

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Wong I too am quite independent . I have never been alone before Robs passing so I’m finding it hard . My house was never quiet with the kids having friends around and Rob working on lambettas for himself or his mates .
Now you can hear a pin drop I am really missing the company . This really is far from how I expected my semi retirement to be .
When people tell you “ you are a strong person” oh if only they knew what goes on behind closed doors. It is good to let your emotions out though .

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I know Kazzer. I always had a house full of kids, and lots of comings and goings. My partner was not my kids dad, they were grown up by the time I met him, but he was very much part of the family. He was a very happy, friendly, sociable person loved by everyone. I am, or was, fairly sociable too, but I am not a life and soul of the party type person. We used to go out and about a lot. Now nothing! I remember going to visit my children’s great grandma when my kids were small. I said how embarrassed I was that when she came to mine there were toys and washing everywhere, and her house was immaculate. She said to me she would give anything to have a house like mine. She said she missed the business of when she had a husband and kids and the mess, and hated the fact that when she put something somewhere it would still be there when she next looked for it. I now know exactly what she means. My partner was messy. I miss the mess!

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I know what you mean Kazzer. Everyone says that I’m the strongest person they know. I WAS strong. I’m not now. I just find days getting harder rather than easier. Each day I miss him more. Sending hugs

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@Wong hi wong I’m sorry people have treated you that way and I’m always in and out here so anytime you want to chat I’m usually around

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I have taken to saying now ‘I’m not strong, I just have no other options’

The book by Megan Devine really helps with this

Glad you think the book helps - I’m reading through it bit by bit. I had to pack up my mum’s house (my childhood home) yesterday as she is in a care home. He should have been there helping but instead there are memories of him everywhere (we got together at school). I just feel as though everything is being ripped away from me and I have no control. How can anyone be strong with all that happening. My life has become a nothingness - other than pain.

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