Feeling somewhat hurt with so called friends. Not one of them as been in touch over xmas i posted them all cards cost me a fortune i dont have much cash to throw away. Not one card back I’m texted a couple of them no answer one of them is my own dad. Obviously to busy to worry how im coping for all there promises when my hubby died. Well I’m had it with them I’m not going to answer them if they do ever text . Whats wrong with people 
it really upset me over xmas. Am i being selfish to expect people to keep in touch. I know its only a card but its more then that when your on your own its a sign that someone is thinking of you.
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Hi @Misprint
So sorry to hear about friends and family.
I think it is the way of the world now no compassion understanding of grief 
heartache just expect you to carry on regardless. Sorry no one knows the pain or grief unless they have lost someone special. I would not wish the pain loneliness on anyone.
My family thinks after 7 months of bring without him i should just accept and get on with things. Sorry but i struggle some days to get myself motivated to do things.
I still cant concentrate watching TV just background noise to kill the silence in the house. Dont eat well sleeping is another issue too.
Best to look after yourself. Friends and Family come and go and tend to have their own problems and issues. One day they will need your help.
Be kind be happy 
Lynne x
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Thankyou for taking the time to read and reply to my post. Only people on this site know how we feel and can sympathise will us. Hope the new year brings us some good times but i expect it will be same 
different year. All the best galaxy75.
I realy feel for you when family treat you like.Don’t worry about them there turn will come I’m thinking of you Best regards
@Misprint My Dad used to say: “People promise you the earth & do nothing”. You’re not being selfish, they are. It’s unkind of them not to reach out over Christmas & not returning a card is just mean. Unfortunately some people lack sensitivity after the death of a loved one & it’s suddenly like you’re now damaged goods & they don’t want the reminder of their own mortality so they avoid the issue. As @Les49 wrote: “Don’t worry about them”. I would’ve worded it differently but it wouldn’t be polite 
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Its strange how something like this shows people’s true colours. It seems to be a recurring theme
I too have experienced it, both during my partner’s illness and in the aftermath of her passing.
People who were supposed to be there, just weren’t and in some cases made the situation 100x worse at a time when she needed their support.
Conversely, some people you never expected to hear from and haven’t had contact for years with, suddenly offer their condolences and help
The bitter pill is life goes on - you expect there to be a pause button while you get it together, but there isn’t.
People come to the funeral, offer their condolences for few hours. The next day their life goes back to normal - ours changes irreparably forever
You learn very quickly, during these times, who deserved a seat at your table and who should never have been there
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So very well said and I truly feel for you.It hurts when people are not there I’ve got the funeral to come and I’m dreading it. If you want to rea ch out please do.
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@Les49 for me it was more the hurt they caused her at a time when she was fighting for her life and enduring more pain than anyone can fathom - will never forgive them for that
Good luck with the funeral - very difficult.
I spent 3 days with her at the Chapel of Rest prior to funeral, which I wasn’t sure how I would handle, but I think it helped me through the actual funeral spending that time with her, in a sense.
I also made sure I was a pallbearer to both funeral and crematorium - gave me a sense of holding her hand one last time
You’re also more than welcome to reach out anytime
Stay strong and do what you need to regardless of anyone’s else’s involvement
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MemoriesOfUs
I can’t forgive the system fo the way she had to suffer. Suffering from C.O.P D . and having to wait 6 hours for an ambulance Sent home from the hospital later having to wait 5hours for another ambulance back to the hospital. By then fighting for life.Spent 15 hours by her bed until she went.
Really nice to hear you spent 3 days with her at the chapel.Thanks for the offer of reaching out,its really nice of you
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Almost everyone has a story to tell about the inefficiencies and in a lot of cases medical negligence by NHS bureaucracy, myself included - when was she was admitted to hospital with a suspected infection, all chemo treatment was suspended. There was no infection after weeks of testing and suspension of the chemo - the only thing keeping her alive.
I found the time at chapel of rest to be therapeutic for me leading up to the funeral - sort of quiet reflective time with her before her final send off.
It’s not for everyone, but I found it helped me
@misprint I truly know that feeling I could be dead and know one would know. I think people get selfish and don’t want to hear about the person you have lost I have stopped talking to a lot of people as they are no interested so I can do the same kerp your chin up I’m here if you want to chat 
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@Galaxy75 I’m at the same stage as you. 7 month’s on and I’m struggling. I thought I was coping quite well but feel as though I am back to square one. I can’t be bothered with anything and feel very unsettled. I know my darling Ron wouldn’t want me to feel this way but just can’t help it. Tears are never far away even writing this. Sending hugs to all . Ann
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Hi @AnnieG1
Life really us so tough for each of us.
We just think we are doing so well the loneliness grief and heartache come back and we find ourselves back to square one. Tears come and go days weeks months pass and we are still on this new life trying to understand why and how to manage ourselves.
Please take care of yourself stay stong and hopefully we will get through the times ahead 
by helping each other as most of people here are going through the same things
Lynne x
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@Galaxy75 I really am trying to stay strong but am finding it very exhausting. I’ve just finished grief counselling and thought it was helping but am not so sure now. How to cope, I’m at a loss. Thank you for your kind words. Ann x
Hi @AnnieG1
Take care and look after yourself.
I know sometimes it will be hard to get through the days but you will and there are always people who are experiencing same things as yourself so keep posting your feelings and someone will talk to you and help you we cant take away pain from grief but we can listen and we can send hugs and
Lynne x
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Thank you. Means a lot.
Ann x