I have a tape recording,dvds and letters my husband sent while he was in the army,am I making myself more upset by listening and reading these precious mementos or should I just leave them be at the moment.I miss him so much that sometimes I just need to hear his voice but I just think I may be in denial,I know he’s gone but my brain won’t compute this fact.
I find looking back on good times in the past fine. I cant bring myself to look at recent pictures, are your tapes etc recent or from a while ago, maybe take a wee rest from what’s upsetting you,
It will be difficult to look at them but it will also give you comfort at the same time. I have several voice recordings and videos of my mom and I don’t have the courage to watch those yet. I am planning to start listening/watching those but I know I will cry a lot.
They are from when we were first together and from when he went away in the army,so they are from 30 years ago.My mind keeps going back to that happy time as the recent past is so painful to me I find it difficult to think about it as my husband suffered so much.
Think it’s something really lovely to have. There is no rush to watch them. I listened to a video of my mum the other day as I just missed her voice. I found old videos of when I’m a baby going to get them put onto a dvd. Things like that will be a lovely memory to have
The one thing I had, for both myself and the kids, were videos and recordings of my partner, she was very camera shy but I did manage to put together photo albums of her for each of us. But recordings wise, the only one I have is from her showing off her room when she had to go to UCLH with her struggling for breath, she didnt speak, so the only sound is that of her breathing (she passed away passed away in November after having stage IV lung mets from breast cancer).
I think a big part of the process is maybe normalising those emotions? Not so you don’t feel anything, but so that you still feel the heartbreak but it doesn’t become overwhelming? You’ll know yourself if what you’re feeling is right, or so I’m told.
I really for sorry for you with these thoughts ,My partner ,I call him my partner we were not a couple in that sense, just two very good friends who ended up sharing over 30 years together ,died 8 months ago, I miss him every day and I cry every day
and would have loved to hear his voice again.I was then told by one of his friends when they phoned that it good to hear his voice, I never thought for one moment that his was the voice on the answering machine,I never phone the house there is no need to as there is only me here,.I keep looking at the machine, I will never wipe it off, but dont know whether to listen or not,
Biffo,I can understand what you are going through.I worry that If I play the tape too often I am going to wear it out or I mangle it.Although I get upset listening to it there is comfort knowing I can hear his voice when I want.