Analogy

Since 02/09/2019. I have looked for understanding of this grief and have course come to realise that no one can describe how it will effect me. I still keep looking for the answers.
Anyway , yesterday I found an analogy posted by Lauren Herschel and I hope it’s ok to pass it on.

So grief is like this. There’s a box with a ball in it. And a pain button. In the beginning the ball is huge. You can’t move the box without the ball hitting the pain button. It rattles around on its own in there and hits the pain button over and over. You can’t control it- it just keeps hurting. Sometimes it seems unrelenting. Over time the ball gets smaller. It hits the button less and less but when it does, it hurts just as much. It’s better because you can function day to day more easily, but the downside is the ball hits that button when you least expect it. For most people the ball never goes away. It might hit less and less and you have more time to recover between hits,unlike when the ball was giant.

I liked this analogy. Yesterday the ball was huge but today it’s a little smaller. X

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Hi Sjc
Thank you.That’s a good analogy,helps to picture in the mind how grief can look.Yes i agree we search for answers,to what grief is all about,how strange it is,i really don’t think there is an answer to find,the only answer to handle this strangest of emotions is from within oneself.
Does help though to read many articles and others experiences on how they are handling it all too.We never want to feel we are alone with the weird feelings grief keeps throwing at us.xx

I really like this analogy to the evolving nature of grief and loss. I’ve made one up of my own to try to get to grips with the undulating terrain of grief. I’ve been struggling over the last few days and my analogy is that of a sticking plaster covering a large, festering and deep wound. As we move forward… a little more of the “plaster” is ripped off the wound. The wound is shocked, exposed and stressed, will it continue to repair or will it re-open? After a few days it realises it continues to repair and so repair it does, until the next bit of the plaster rips off and the cycle begins again. The change of weather is the rip… bed it in and even ground will be restored…until the next rip!

Hello Sjc. I notice that you posted this in February but I’ve only just seen it. It’s a very good analogy. Being 22 months down this horrible road, my ball is getting smaller but oh, when it hits that pain button boy does it hurt. I hope your ball is reducing in size too. Sending love xx

Hi Kate. Thanks, yes definitely getting smaller after 8 months. It just takes you by surprise when you have had a few days of it missing the pain button and suddenly hitting it hard.
However today is not so bad, sitting in the sun at my sons house ,laughing about something John did or said .
Hope you are having a good or at least ok day. X

Thankyou Sjc, I like it. Given me something to think about. Everything helps.

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Hello Pattidot, I am so sorry for not being in touch for such a long time, I hope that you are feeling better. I have been through a rough time, my husband, Stan has been very ill, in fact we thought that we were going to lose him. He had 2 weeks in hospital, a further 2 weeks in a Care Home, we have decided for him to have a further 2 weeks and then he is going to stay with our daughter for an additional week. All the worry has given me an insight as to what it must be like to lose your husband/wife. Thank God, he has pulled through but he is very weak, he has had a nasty kidney infection, a very stubborn one at that, I, together with my family thought he wasn’t going to pull round, even the doctors at the hospital thought that he was riddled with cancer but a CAT scan confirmed that this wasn’t the case. Please excuse me and I hope you will be in touch. MaryL.

I wish you the very best in my thoughts and prayers take care of yourself and your loved ones x

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Thank you so much. x

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